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Burdened by lists of grumbles.

Byline: Denis Kilcommons

THERE are certain things in life that get up your nose.

Mitchell Symons rants for England as he lists thousands of them in Don''t Get Me Started (Corgi, pounds 7.99), which is described as "The very grumpy guide to the most annoying aspects of everyday life."

Such as pub quiz teams who win every week, queuing in a Post Office that has eight customer positions of which only three are open, shop assistants chewing gum, ice cream that is too hard to scoop out and people who use the expression 24/7. He hits the nail with: "Men who wear socks with sandals. Should be against the law. It probably is in Italy" and goes on to declaim against loud music in pubs inhibiting conversation, stores playing Jingle Bells in October, personnel departments renamed Human Resources and TV game show presenters who clap themselves - "they look like seals".

And there''s more: Government ministers who apologise but refuse to resign, packets of roast-chicken flavoured crisps labelled "suitable for vegetarians" and people who clearly don''t exercise wearing trainers and tracksuits.

Some of his observations are amusing, others cutting, many politically incorrect but I totally agree with "People who choose anything but ordinary names for their children."

Examples listed include: Phoenix (Mel B), Gulliver (Gary Oldman), Justice (Steven Seagal), Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone), Bluebell Madonna (Geri Halliwell) and Tu (Rob Morrow) as in Tu Morrow.

It''s an amusing tirade but he really does leave out one that invariably annoys me: books of lists.
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Publication:Huddersfield Daily Examiner (Huddersfield, England)
Date:May 28, 2010
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