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Brian Reade's Column: Chamber of horrors.

IN OCTOBER it will be decided which of the 92 hereditary peers should be allowed to remain in the House of Lords.

And the Government has provoked uproar by saying the peers must use a maximum of 75 words to explain why they should be retained.

I can't see the problem, lads. If you want to know how to fit the bill as a lord, jot down the following:

"My family title dates back to manic, axe-wielding ancestors who pillaged Northumbria in the Dark Ages. Inter-breeding has since kept my IQ low enough to sail through Eton, Oxford and BBC board of governors.

"Likes: Stuttering, venison, staying out of touch, spilling claret, claiming hefty allowance while falling asleep in Lords.

"Interests: Shooting, masonic lodges, ripping off public who go round stately home, screwing democracy and chambermaids."

That should do it.
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Aug 26, 1999
Words:140
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