Boris: Joker to choker.
Byline: Kaye Adams OUR WOMAN ON THE LOOSE
I THINK Ewan McGregor probably summed up how a good number of people now feel about Boris Johnson.
The actor's tweet was too colourful to print here. I suspect he had his Trainspotting head on when he wrote it.
In language more suited to a family Sunday newspaper, it roughly translated into: "Boris is a big girl's blouse who got us into a right pickle then choked."
After a four-month campaign that began to smell increasingly fishy as it wore on, this was the moment we all got slapped in the face with a wet haddock.
The man who'd raised his arms above his head in triumphal Rocky pose and urged us all on to "Independence Day" decided he'd slope off to the pub for a pint instead.
RUNNER: Johnson. I had a different thought from Ewan when I heard the news. It felt like the class clown had walked into a room full of people, let off a "silent but deadly" and then retreated to leave everyone screaming at each other: "It was you!" But let's look for positives. It's been an ugly and foul-tempered week so I am determined to find an upside.
There can be no avoiding the fact that we are in complete political meltdown but it could work out well for gender balance. So there's a bit of good news.
In Scotland we already have three females leading the main political parties. In Wales, Leanne Wood heads Plaid Cymru and we might well see women take the top jobs at Westminster too - Angela Eagle for Labour and Mrs Sarah Gove for the Tories. Of course, hubby Michael will be the front man but the country can be assured that his wife will be calling the shots, checking his emails and ensuring media moguls Rupert Murdoch (his former boss at The Times) and Paul Dacre (her current boss at the Daily Mail) are on side.
Isn't democracy just fab? Because these past four months, as we have been constantly reminded, have been all about democracy, ensuring we are ruled not by faceless Euro bureaucrats but by politicians who we elect and who can be held accountable.
Except that the biggest cheerleader for Brexit has done a runner and we will have a new Prime Minister who none of us voted for.
We are heading into uncharted territory with a plan drawn up on the back of a fag packet.
Boris Brexits I respect the result of the referendum and I think we will ultimately be glad the vote went the way it did. The Europe thing is almost incidental. The big headline is more than half of the country is deeply unhappy and that is unacceptable.
That's the single most important fact the next occupant of No10 needs to bear in mind and they need to fix it.
If that is best achieved by continuing down the road to Brexit, so be it. If not, they need to have the guts to tell us that.
Our politicians have used and abused the word democracy and it's time for them to take heed. What this referendum has done is given democracy life and turned it into a fire-breathing dragon.
Mess with it again and you will get severely burned.
RUNNER: Boris Johnson Brexits