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Bleeder.

Bleeder is dive-bar metal at it's best/worst, inspired by the evil manifesting in dark corners by the jukebox. With nasty guitars, raspy blackened vocals and a delivery dirtier than a bowl of Beer Nuts, they harness the filthiest spirits of rock 'n' roll. Even with a couple of good-looking ladies on deck strangling their guitars, Bleeder keeps it ugly. Their future is unknown, but it's what they've done and how they did it that landed them on this page. The warlock churning the caldron behind all this is Digger, aka the Shit Wizard. I had him cough up some words on behalf of Bleeder for the record.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Your old practice spot off the 1-5 by the Valero in San Clemente was an epic dump. You told me it was haunted.

The hooker ghost. Apparently It was a whorehouse in the 70s. She was invoked through sleazy activity in certain rooms of the building.

Who told you a hooker died there?

Well, no knowledge of death. Just that it was a whorehouse and weird shit would happen when you brought chicks over and stuff.

What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed there?

A painting on a canvas flying out of someone's hand and sticking to the wall.

You're high! We'll just leave it at that. Are you bummed it's gone?

No. It needed to be gone. Some magical and some terrible things went on in there. It was time to seal it shut.

Is that where Bleeder was formed? How did that happen? Were you looking for a chick with skills to front it or--

Bleeder came to life in there. I had the name and idea in my twisted mind for years before it happened. We were drinking booze at a sleazy bar down the street and I mentioned I had the best band name ever. Inquisitor got it out of me and was on the same page. We hit that studio and had our demo out in less than two months as a two-piece.

Give me a rundown of the lineup. Miss Castrator showed up last?

Marz the Inquisitor on sexplorer guitar and vocals. Shaysted Idiot on punk drums. Castrator on destroyer bass. And I, the Shit Wizard, on bloody axe and vocals. Inquisitor and I recorded the first demo. I did drums, bass, vocals and leads. After that we jammed with Shaysted on drums and Castrator was actually there. Then we asked her to pick up a bass.

You're always giving me tapes with new recordings and different versions of Bleeder demos. You guys like recording or do you just like shitty tapes?

Both. Always recording and making tapes. I like hearing different versions and demos of bands' stuff.

Is Bleeder going to make an official release? Oh, wait--wasn't I supposed to fund one? I mean, I got a guy.

That one is in your hands now. Got the new tracks to try and force a 7" on someone.

What's with these latest recordings Marz "engineered," if you will?

She took it upon herself to get some recording shite and try it out. First recording I'm on that I didn't do. Came out Satanic and sounds deadly. "Fear the steel" and "Time to die!"

Who writes most of the songs?

I do but Inquisitor always throws in her ideas and I do the same on the songs she writes. Castrator has some riffs coming up too.

Give me the three important components that makes a bar a proper dive in your opinion. Like, no door on the shitter?

Sleazy bartender, sketchy old men, piss trough.

You ever think you're gonna pick up a rash playing so many dives?

I might be giving the rash.

Okay, you walk into a virgin dive and wanna make an impression. What are your three go-to songs on the Internet jukebox?

Judas Priest "Victim of Changes," Slayer "Black Magic" and Darkthrone "Fuck off and Die" if they got it.

Say I line up a dive-bar tour from Portland to Vancouver, BC. Name two bands you would want in on the gig.

Now you get three choices: Vomitor and Nekro Drunkz, Midnight and Booze Hiders or Mortician and Fetid.

What's the current status with Marz moving to Portland?

Hiding in her garage dungeon, sending me riffs.

You going to keep writing songs as Bleeder?

Yeah, I think Bleeder's a lifer. We're going to jam out some new riffs soon as a three-piece.

What's it going to take to get you guys to commit to Larb Fest 4? Let's go east.

Pain and suffering. Let's do it.

Honestly, it don't matter. Let's see if we'll make it to next week. We got nukes pointed at us.Final question then: Danzig and dude from Mortician in the Octagon, who you got your money on?

Will Rahmer could knock Danzig out by looking at him.
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Title Annotation:LARBAGE
Author:Hitz, Sam
Publication:Thrasher
Date:Jul 1, 2017
Words:810
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