Beware of Island well off any map; Sporton TV.
THE World Cup left me with a nasty midweek ITV habit - that's the only reason for finding myself watching Love Island (note no Celebrity in the title or on the Island).
What utter garbage it is, too. No football on it for a start.
You'd think that getting a few female 'models' in paradise and encouraging drinking and sleeping together would have made the inclusion of a couple of Premiership footballers an absolute must.
And the best thing about it from the players' point of view would be they would be made to look like highly intelligent individuals. Yes, even Lee Bowyer.
Indeed Love Island could learn a lot from the way football is run, and maybe even rescue its sliding viewing figures. There needs to be a governing body, responsible for
disciplinary measures and punishments, just like FIFA with their World Cup Final miscreants Zinedine Zidane and Marco Materazzi.
But what sanctions are being taken against the Islanders for the most offensive display of stupidity on TV since, well, the last series of this supposed reality show?
The islanders were given their own World (mainly D) Cup, in which they had to attach stickers with the names of countries on them to their correct places on a map of the world. The posh blonde bird who is mates with Mark Bosnich's ex-girlfriend announced she knew USA is north of Brazil "because I live there".
And, pointing at the USA and announcing "I know that's Brazil," put the marker with the name of the country where she lives on Canada.
The Playboy playmate would have done better blindfolded with a donkey's tail as she placed South Africa (bit of a clue where that is in the name) on Malaysia. For getting even the continent wrong (the kiss-and-tell blonde with a face like the lion from the Wizard of Oz at least kept Portugal in Europe, albeit where Holland is traditionally expected to be) there should be additional punishment.
LIFE'S A BEACH: Love Island's Sophie Anderton