Beckhams' LA story is thinner than Posh.
IT must have been one of those weeks this week: nothing of note happened. Nobody blown to bits in Iraq or Afghanistan, no nuclear scare in Japan, no aircraft destroyed in a fireball in Brazil with the loss of getting on for 200 lives. Nothing.
Or at least that's how it seemed to me, going by the hype that surrounded the arrival in the USA of an ageing football player and his thin-as-a-rake former pop star wife whose career has long since floundered.
It's not that I blame David Beckham for grabbing the insane wad of dollars waved under his nose to wind down his career in the LA sunshine. Nor his pouting wife for wallowing in his golden shadow. Who could turn his nose up at EUR32.5m - pounds i5.8m - over five years just to kick a ball in what in reality is a Mickey Mouse league? That's without the commercial spin-offs, worth much more.
Blimey, I'd take the money and run as well..
It's those who tried to present his ticker-tape welcome as an event of global importance who got under my skin. Perhaps it's just me, but I can't abide this nonsensical hero-worshipping of mere mortals. They whooped in mock-sincere delight this week when Queen Beckham showed she could meekly toss a ball at a baseball player. Wow-ee. Hold the front page, will you?
It was the same the other day when Gordon Brown showed he could hit a tennis ball over a net: did the brown-nose brigade have to cheer so inanely?
I'll applaud when he proves he's willing to tackle world poverty, tries to bring peace to the globe, and looks to preserve the planet for future generations.
Beckham could play for LA Galaxy against Chelsea tomorrow, if he recovers from a swollen left ankle. One man with his fingers crossed that Golden Balls makes it will be Philip F Anschutz, the billionaire owner of Beckham's new employers, the man who can claim General Electric and broadcasters NBC as his own playthings.
Little wonder NBC viewers were treated this week, as were we, to an hour-long special about Victoria's house-hunting exploits, and how she actually had to go and apply for a driving licence. All that, and throw a ball at a man wielding a baseball bat in the same week? That's a lot to take in for our Vic.
One US critic felt that: "Watching 'Victoria Beckham: Coming to America' was a little like watching cheddarvision.tv, the website devoted to the ripening of a 441b wheel of cheese." He added that "the cheddar probably has an ounce or two on Mrs Beckham".
That somehow helped redeem my faith in the average American, if only slightly. Now if only they could desist from voting in rabid, right wing idiots as president..
It's those who tried to present it as an event of global importance who got under my skin
You can't blame the Beckhams for grabbing such an insane wad of dollars, but you can question why such a trivial story pushed global events down the news agenda Picture: OWEN HUMPHREYS