BITE AND BATTLE; Teens will love their supernatural heroes again as the saga continues.
So you'd think they might do something about the ultra pale complexions that make them stick out like very sore digits in Forks.
Slapping on liberal dollops of fake tan would surely do the trick and help them to blend in, but they don't bother.
That's just one of the curiosities that struck me while watching the latest episode of this teeny bop phenomenon.
Another peculiarity is that werewolf Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) is almost constantly bare-chested. A fact that also troubles Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) who asks: "Doesn't he have a shirt?" It's odd though that while Jacob and the rest of the werewolf pack's alpha males take every opportunity to flash their pecs, the females are covered up in human form.
Whoever would have taken werewolves to be a breed that was concerned about modesty? Hold on! I'm starting to look far too deeply into something that really is to vampire and werewolf folklore what the Spice Girls were to pop.
None of which will be of the slightest interest to the film's target audience, who will be oohing and aahing as Bella (Kristen Stewart) has to decide between Jacob and Edward.
Sorting out her feelings is at the core of things as Bella's suitors have to forget their differences and team up to protect the love of their lives from some vile vampires, led by the flame-haired Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard).
Fans will love it all - particularlythe love triangle - and if old cynics like me forget about holes in the plot they'll find it quite entertaining.
AT WAR ... The rival groups must join forces to save heroine Bella