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BB is back - and I feel cheated.

I CANNOT Adam and Eve it, Big Brother is returning to our screens this month.

When I heard this fact the words 'please do not swear' went right out the window.

I felt outraged, slightly depressed, but overall CHEATED.

Last September - less than 12 months ago - we watched Davina McCall pretty much lead a funeral march as she 'appeared' to lay the reality TV show to rest once and for all.

I believed the teary-eyed farewell as she stood head-to-toe in black and signed off from Ultimate Big Brother after 10 years at the helm.

I'm now utterly ashamed to say, and I don't admit this lightly, that I had a little lump of emotion in my throat - please delete this from your memory after reading.

I made a special effort that night to watch what I thought was a moment in TV history never to be replaced - the end, finito, hasta la vista Big Brother!

Silly, silly me.

Just months later, Channel Five announced plans to re-launch the reality show as soon as August 18.

TEARY FAREWELL: Davina McCall Now, before I let this rant run away with me, I must firstly champion the moments of comedy genius that Big Brother has given us.

In the golden age of series two, there was the loveable Welsh hairdresser Helen Adams, whose innocent observation 'I love blinkin I do' became a national catchphrase.

Brian Dowling - who won Ultimate Big Brother 2010 and is set to host the new show - was laugh-out loud funny.

In 2002, Alex Sibley singing 'That's the way I like it' while hiding behind the bedroom door was timed to perfection.

And in the same year, who could forget Jade Goody's tic-tac-ticals and other verbal mishaps and, of course, her verruca.

Jade shocked the nation by getting naked on the sofa, but nowadays you only need to tune in to the Embarrassing Bodies for a bit of gratuitous nudity.

In 2006 Nikki Grahame's 'who is she?' diary room tantrum kept me tuning in for weeks.

But after that it all went a bit pear-shaped. Chantelle Houghton failed to hold my attention and George Galloway's cringeworthy cat impression was just uncomfortable to watch.

When it came to Josie and John James, I cared little whether they were on, off or whatever.

For me the innocence of what made Big Brother truly watchable came with an age of TV that is now gone. It's time for the TV bosses to let it go and move on.

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TEARY FAREWELL: Davina McCall
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Title Annotation:Letters
Publication:Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)
Date:Aug 1, 2011
Words:422
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