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Attack on 'cool' misses the point.


One of my first columns in this paper was *I think* about the Cereal Killer cafe, opened in Shoreditch in That London by twin brothers from our fair city. I doubt I was complimentary about it. I'll make the recap quick.

Selling breakfast cereal to adults wishing to infantilise themselves at four quid a pop. I had people make comparisons to me about how I'd spend that on a coffee or a beer.

I still don't know where these people are being charged PS4 for a coffee... and as for beer... well, its rollercoaster of dizzying highs, terrifying lows and foamy middles are worth every penny in my opinion.

Last week the Cereal Killer cafe was attacked by some revolutionary types claiming that it was a symbol of the gentrification of the area, pushing poorer people out with increasingly higher rents and bringing in rich types with their quinoa, man buns and unquenchable hunger for sugary chocolatey bowls of "kewl". "Kewl" is better than "cool". It's even cooler. It's, like, soooo "kewl".

Protests are "kewl". Well, the impression of protesting is. Clicking a "like", sharing it, telling others to do so. That is a form of protest now.

I'm not knocking it, it can have effect, it can raise awareness and maybe change things. Maybe not.

There are people who oppose it as being some form of lazy guilt relief for the apathetic, that actually taking it to the streets is "proper" protest.

Taking it directly to The Man. Two men in this case. I rather applaud the eerily identical Keery brothers. Making a ton of money by selling something unessential to the essentially shallow and thick is a stroke of genius. I do love a good bowl of cereal but not enough to buy into a collective experience with onesie-clad kidults colouring in.

But neither do I want to see places like that attacked for some absurd and abstract notion of bettering the country by attacking a hipster business. For a start, they are not the real threat here. Nor the cause. They are a by-product of a change. It isn't a change for the better by any means but that's London for you.

Even the cheapest areas aren't cheap. Yes there is real poverty there but two fellas making fast money off of fad breakfast aren't responsible.

Making The government are.

money fad is not threat The Keerys pay taxes unlike some coffee-slinging chain cafes, they aren't forcing people in the door at gunpoint.

Multi-million per annum businesses in the neighbourhood are OK apparently, regardless of their tax avoidance and employment standards.

But I am not condoning attacks on those either. See, when things like this happen, it may be thought of as some way of getting at The Man, but who cleans up? The Man? Nope, the people The Man employs at minimum wage who could frankly do without an impassioned and kewl protest. It won't change anything for them.

But so much of todays political opinion is lead by celebrity. Russell Brand for example.

His clarion call for revolution (just before his book of the same name came out) was in the form of encouraging people to not vote.

Then he changed his mind and encouraged fast of breakfast real here people to vote for who he liked. Quite the messianic complex he's got there. So much so he started "Trews", a portmanteau of "True" and "News" and broadcast on YouTube.

The subjective view of an egoist was considered true and when he decided to pack up his toys and quit it and social media altogether there was much OMGing and gnashing of teeth from people who probably don't look anywhere else for information on current affairs.

Single click apathy signifying nothing. Talk about buying into a Brand.

Making fast money of fad breakfast is not real threat here


UNAPPETISING Cereal Killer cafe charges PS4 a bowl
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Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Oct 5, 2015
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