As seen on twitter AKA already seen it! AKA I saw that on the Internet already, AKA get your face out of the twitterbox.
IF ANYTHING IN THIS ARTICLE looks familiar to you, that's because you probably already saw it on YouTube, or maybe on some German kid's website. Actually, if you're following Mike Carroll on Twitter. you've probably already seen everything in here. If you know Mike, you know he's pretty into his phone. If you're trying to have a conversation with him you might want to wait 'til he's done with that text, 'cause it ain't gonna happen before that. His face-in-the-cellphone antics really hit a fever pitch on this trip, though, thanks to his having recently discovered Twitter. For the first week or so he Tweeted at a normal rate, but after he hurt his shoulder at a Swedish nightclub and couldn't skate anymore he went off. I don't think I saw his face for the rest of the trip unless it was peeking out from behind his Blackberry. Every spot we went to he was looking for the best angles. At times it was like shooting Best Trick at Tampa, trying to jockey into position to get a photo. Once or twice he actually had a photo of someone on the Internet before I had packed up my camera gear. It got so bad that after a couple of days we had to have a team intervention before he gave away every trick we got. I think it worked, because I haven't seen a Tweet out of him since we got back from Europe. Now I'm on another trip surrounded by even more dedicated Twitterers. But you probably already read about that on the 'Net.
I SPOT THESE BONEHEADS instantly on the plane. They were arguing over the latest issue of "I'm a grown man playing with a little wooden roller board." Then they go into, "Hey, man, if I take this whole pill is it gonna knock me out? I'm scared." Man, I'll tell you what you skateboarding imbeciles, gimmie the whole damn bottle. I can't take being on the same plane as you. Not gonna bore you with what happened next. Put it this way: Two God-forsaken weeks of "Let's play twinkle toes up on the hand railing" or "Let's see if we can scratch our boards up on that giant curve." Oh, and something is going on, for sure: kids lined up by the dozens to watch these skaters play jump and spin on a perfectly good bench made for sitting. With the amount of gas these guys pass, the drugs could be in something they eat, slowly getting the kids hooked on some sort of dope they expel through their backsides. I wasn't about to follow that path.
THEY CALLED IT THE FOUR'N LEGION TOUR. It was more like an infectious lesion that I couldn't stop scratching. I found myself dazed and bewildered by their nonstop laughing, joking, and jibber jabber. Like a deer in the headlights, like the enemy trapped within the crosshairs of my scope, I couldn't turn away. I found myself whispering "Do it" when one of them was trying to spin and drag his board across some piece of stone, waiting to see if his feet would connect in time. And that was when I realized it: they had gotten to me, and I didn't even know it had happened. I grabbed the nearest cab and had him high tail it to the airport. On the flight back to Tampa I knew there was only one thing to do for now: Get drunk and get this hell tour outta my mind. Oh, but I'm not done. I'll be waiting for you, FOURSTAR. I'll get my mind straight and I'll get my report.
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|Title Annotation:||FOUR'N LESION|
|Date:||Oct 1, 2009|
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