And so to the 5 big questions of the week.
1 DAyBrEAk celebrating its first birthday by sending a viewer to Australia. Would it be less embarrassing to be sent in chains for stealing? 2 Portsmouth council holding a safe-sex workshop for over 60s.
Will it combine it with a tea dance and teach the rhythm method? rugby player James Haskell screaming "you 3England f****** ****" on TV. Had it been Wayne rooney, would Parliament be recalled for a debate? 4 The National Trust planting a wood for the Queen's jubilee. Is it to remind us her kids are as thick as two short planks? 5 Bernard Hogan-Howe's in London after learning in Liverpool how to defeat the enemy. Let's hope he fares better than Fernando Torres, eh?
NEW JOB JHogan-Howe