Agony aunt Hilary Devey; Our gravel-voiced giver of good advice. No waffle, just wisdom.
Office romances happen. But when one person is in a position of authority, they often prove to be a mix of exploitation and lust, with a conclusion in the employment tribunal
You have made it clear this infatuation is one-sided and there is no hint of reciprocation from the object of your affections. Not meaning to sound harsh, but PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.
Temptation is only human, but seriously, in this situation, you stand to lose everything: the respect of your colleagues, your sanity and, ultimately, your career. In your head you are moving this to another stage without any apparent justification, and you could find yourself in a world of trouble.
As nothing seems to have happened yet, you can still step away from this situation without any long-term damage having been done. Speak to someone senior and say that you would prefer to work on another team or in another department. Don't you dare tell your manager it is because of your crush on a staff member or, worse, be bad and blame your innocent toyboy. Extract yourself from this with the minimum of disruption.
In the event this office re-jigging cannot occur, it all comes down to self-control. What separates us from beasts of the field is we have freewill and are not governed by our nether regions.
If you have a question for Hilary, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org Dear Hilary, ' I've recently developed strong feelings for my assistant at work. At first it was just physical attraction, but lately it's got more serious.
We're flirty, although I think he believes it's innocent and hasn't picked up on my true feelings.
It's making it hard for me to act like a boss and be authoritative. I honestly don't know what to do. Tricia, 48, Bolton '