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What was the highlight of your early '90s pro career?

My first pro contest beating Ed Templeton.

What were your moves you took him out with?

Five-forty ollies, front-foot impossibles, bag ladies down the handrail. Oh, and my last trick was a late shove-it from a bank over a gap to another bank, and Ed had just showed me late shove-its the day before. I'd never seen them before. It was quite good.

For the youngsters, do you want to explain what a bag lady is?

It's like a willy grind. If you don't know what that is, that's a front truck board slide, like a lazy nose grind. And a bag lady is the lipslide version of that. Over the rail and land on the front truck with the back of the board on there as well.

What's The Breather and what is its legacy?

Oh my god! The Breather was the old Flip white van. Greco named it The Breather because we took it to SF once and it took us like 15 hours. The thing kept running out of oil and all the fumes would come in through the front of the van. So after about an hour, you were off your head on fumes. So Greco named it the Shit Breather and then it just became The Breather.

And there was a time when it was known as the Reckless Breather, right?

There was a time when it was the Reckless Breather, yeah.

And that's when it was more used for romantic interludes?

You could say that, yeah.

What were the highs and lows of living in The Breather?

Good question. The highs, there weren't many. It was cheap. It was alright to go to sleep in but then in the morning when the sun was beating down you'd just be covered in beads of sweat. And of course there's no shower in The Breather so it could become very unhygenic. But, you know, who's fussy?

Who's got The Breather now?

Last I heard, Sturt had it. The last encounter with The Breather I had--well, was allowed to have--I was driving down Edwards and a big piece of metal flew out the bonnet and it just blew up, basically. I pulled over to the side and there was stuff squirting out the engine and there were little fragments of boiling hot metal on the floor. I left the hazards on and set far away. Oh, and there was this one time I was with Geoff, and we pull up in this parking lot and I turn it off and we get out of the van and then suddenly it restarted itself without keys. We were shitting one, I swear. It was like that movie Christine where the car comes to life. I'm like, "Oh my God, what are we gonna do?" and Geoff just punks it and jumps behind the wheel and revs the engine until it conks out again.

Are you hunting for a new board sponsor or what?

I'm floating. I would like to tide for someone, but it's different because I've been with Jeremy and Flip since I was 13-years-old. So it's a bit weird trying to tide for someone else. They're still down for me, kicking me down boards and all that, but I'm not quite a hammer program man, in their new program of hammerish skateboarding.

What could you offer a sponsor that your average 15-year-old handrail maniac could not?

Probably more diverse stuff. Also, I'm quite good with kids. When I skate at the parks the kids like to give requests and all that.

If the Titanic was going down and there was only room in the lifeboat for one member of the Osiris team, who would you pick?

Fuck, I don't know. Chad Knight.

But what if Chad had the G-Bag with Thong Song on repeat?

I dunno, I guess bail out the bag.

Were you nervous the first time you saw Ed naked?

Ed Templeton? I've never seen him naked!


Only in pictures. Not in the flesh, thank my lucky stars!

Would you rather ollie the Leap of Faith or fight Sheffey?

Fight Sheffey! You have a better chance of coming out with less broken bones if you fight Sheffey. I'd never want to fight Sheffey, incidentally. What, are you trying to instigate fighting in skateboarding?

What's worse than shouts out?

I dunno. The do-you-want-to-fight-Sheffey question, I suppose.
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Title Annotation:skateboarder
Author:Burnett, Michael
Article Type:Brief Article
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Dec 1, 2001
Previous Article:PETER SMOLIK.

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