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ADVICE; Dear Miriam.

Byline: MIRIAM STOPPARD

Will I boob if I fall for him?

Dear Miriam,

I've fallen in love with my friend's boyfriend and I don't know what to do. He's always winking and making suggestive comments about my boobs. He brushes past me really close and touches me when we talk.

If I faced him with it, he could make out I was imagining things and tell my friend I was making trouble. But I'd like to know if he really is interested in me. What should I do? I'm 19.

Lynn

Dear Lynn,

The people with whom we get on best usually share the same interests, so their taste in boyfriends are often the same. I realise you're attracted to her boyfriend but you'll make a very big mistake if you tangle with him. He seems a real creep, always looking for the main chance.

Wake up to yourself. He's not in love with you. All he cares about is making another conquest and he's probably getting an extra kick out of doing it under his girlfriend's nose.

By lapping it all up and dreaming about having him for yourself, you're feeding his ego and sanctioning his betrayal of your friend's trust. You could end up losing your friend if you play his little games.

I feel very sorry for her and she'll be well rid of him but I hope you're not the one to burst the bubble for both your sakes.

I swear it's all a nightmare

Dear Miriam,

I talk in my sleep and it's driving my husband and children mad because I regularly wake them all up. My husband tells me I don't just shout, I punch and kick and flail my arms about and sometimes burst into song and swear. I never swear when I'm awake and feel mortified that I do it in my sleep.

At the moment, he's sleeping in the spare room because he hasn't had a good night's sleep for ages. Do I need a doctor's help?

Mandy

Dear Mandy,

Sleep talk can occur because of stress, anxiety, having less sleep, unresolved issues, eating in excess just before going to bed or because some task has remained unfinished in our subconscious.

Half of young children and about 5% of adults talk in their sleep. Sleep talking has been known to run in families. Some sleep talkers only mumble sounds, others may ramble off long and complex strings of sentences.

Sleep talking is usually considered harmless and doesn't need treatment. In some cases, the talking can be loud, emotional and profane, in which case it may be a symptom of another sleep disorder like Rapid Eye Movement Sleep Behaviour Disorder, also known as RBD, where we act out dreams as we sleep.

As you're punching and kicking, which are other symptoms of RBD, you may need to see a sleep specialist.

She spies on my texts

Dear Miriam,

Recently I found out my girlfriend has been going through my mobile phone text messages. I have nothing to hide but I'm upset that she does this behind my back.

I've been told by my parents and friends they've often seen her fiddling with my phone and looking through the messages and call-register history if I leave it lying about. I haven't confronted her because she doesn't know I'm aware of what she's doing.

Am I right to be upset about this or should I just accept the invasion of privacy? I wouldn't dream of checking her phone.

Craig

Dear Craig,

There are many reasons why people snoop and often it's because they're just plain nosy. A US magazine survey of 1,000 women found that threequarters of them admitted they've looked through the call log of their boyfriend's mobile phone.

Though she hasn't told you she does it, she obviously doesn't think it's a big deal if she's not being sneaky in front of other people. Sit your girlfriend down and lay it on the line that you don't want her checking your phone. Start by asking her if you've done anything to cause her to mistrust you. Maybe she'll then work harder to control her curiosity.

Family lays into gypsy boyfriend

Dear Miriam,

My boyfriend of seven months doesn't get along with my parents and brother. He's from a gypsy family and they think he's bad news. Recently, my brother and my boyfriend had a fight over me and my brother ended up with a black eye and bruised knuckles. Now my family hate my boyfriend even more.

I love my family and boyfriend and don't want to lose any of them but they're breaking my heart and I'm caught in the middle as a daughter, sister or girlfriend. Where can it go from here?

Jess

Dear Jess,

Emotions must be running really high if the people you love are turning to violence to sort out their differences.

Choosing your boyfriend could alienate you from your family for the rest of your life. You must work out if he is really so special. Is he worth the hassle? Are they merely being prejudiced? Your parents may think they know what's best for you but only you can really know how you feel. Good luck.

Write to: Dr Miriam Stoppard, FREEPOST, Daily Mirror, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5BR.

Or text: MIRIAM and your problem, including your name and town, to 84080. Texts cost 25p.

Or email: miriam@mirror.co.uk Sorry, she cannot reply personally

tip OF THE DAY

"If you're trying to cut down on alcohol, avoid situations where you're tempted to drink - for example, have a night out at the cinema rather than the pub"
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Mar 5, 2010
Words:947
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