A tale of oranges and lemons.
I'M still reeling in shock over England's lamentable Twenty20 performance against the might of Holland.
All the Rip van Winkel's were on our side, dozing off in the field or prodding singles in a format that demands sloggers.
Rembrandt would have painted a pretty orange picture at the end as the Lord's field was flooded with jubilant, disbelieving part-time cricketers who had defeated one of the game's supposed super powers.
For Cruyff, Neeskens, Gullit and Van Basten now read de Grooth, Borren, ten Doeschate and van Bunge as giants of Dutch spor t.
Well done to them but from an English perspective why was Robert Key batting down the order (if in the team at all) and why was Graeme Swann, our most in-form player, left out? Paul Collingwood's body language was that of a man who didn't want to be leading the team and there just seemed to be no direction against a side clearly enjoying itself and straining every sinew.
At least England made amends against Pakistan, whose performance was as lamentable as England's had been 48 hours earlier.
It will be a major surprise, however, if our Jekyll and Hydes play consistently enough to beat South Africa (at Trent Bridge tomorrow), India or New Zealand when it comes to the crunch..
* WELL DONE: Tom de Grooth became a star