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A nice face and a name you can pun on, Mills is our best choice.

I'm writing this from a Muscat cafe, drinking the milk from a camel, nibbling on a shark salad. I tell you this not to gloat or to sound all pseudo intellectual but more to apologise if my sporadic wifi fails me and I miss out on the Big News.

I've read through the Oman Times but there's nothing - they're more pre occupied with a new multi-storey car park at the airport and an indoor ski centre to be built underneath the desert - BBC news is all over the election and a Chilean volcano - even Fox News is overwhelming with its silence, preferring to report on the 18% growth this year on penoplasty and the desire of men to be, let us say, 'bigger' - world media, get some perspective here.

I really need to know. I've checked out the latest with Paddy, Victor and Willy Hill but even they've stopped taking your cash. Surely this is so on - it's as done a deal as Ed Miliband winning the Sexiest Man In Politics Award 2015 (although Nigel Farage might have something to say about that).

I'm so hoping it is Gary Mills.

Every time, on the cusp of a new appointment, we all declare, like prophets, that This Really Is The Most Important Appointment Ever - but you know what, I think this time it really is - It's pretty massive.

We've all been, like a fat old camel down the local camel racing track, lumbering around this non league scene for way too long - it really is pretty rubbish down here - our fan base, not to mention our floodlights, are way too big for this barren landscape.

As Brandon Flowers summed up in his seminal hit Mr Brightside: "... I'm taking control..."

The rest of the song is all about stifling, life stunting jealousy (based I reckon on a man I used to know) and not a football club's quest to return to the football league - but the lyric sums it up nice and simple - we've got to take control and get the right man to give us the best chance of getting out of here.

I like the look of Mills. I actually like his face. I didn't like Wilkin's. He had sneaky eyes. I still see Mills in my Panini sticker album, the ones where the Scottish players all looked like they had bloated massive disproportional faces. Maybe it was all those deep fried double deckers they were eating before training, or really bad photographers who liked to get the telescopic right under the hairy highlander nostrils.

It's a fickle observation, I totally get that, but it's funny how your perception of a manager can instantly shape whether you want to like him. It's followed up, of course, by other stuff - how he speaks, whether he sounds like he knows what he's talking about and ultimately results and his philosophy on how the game is played - in that order.

It also helps if you can pun with his name. Mills is pretty good for puns - you've got salt and pepper, wind, saw - even Heather.

Wilkin was pretty rubbish for the purposes of punning. He was in fact, just pretty rubbish.

But the initial signs are good, I like the look of him. And if he plays us like he played Gateshead against us at the start of the season, I'll reckon we all might come to like Mr Mills quite a lot.

If a famous brewing company did defeats, that would have been the one - Gateshead really were a pleasure to watch that day.

Expansive, keeping it on the floor, everybody comfortable in possession - no coincidence that he once plied his trade under a certain Brian Clough, the man who once famously declared: "If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there."

There are some who are urging caution - I have an acquaintance who follows Notts County and he doesn't have much good to say about him but that's football - if he was completely proven, he'd probably be having interviews at clubs with bigger floodlights than ours.

From what is realistically available to us - I think he is the best man for the job.

If he turns out to bring us a modicum of the success and entertainment that Brian Clough brought to his teams then we could be in for some genuine reasons to be optimistic.

Who knows who the other candidates are - TNS's own Alex Ferguson is up there. With respect, the Conference is a different kettle of frogs to the LOW. You can, I agree, only beat what is in front of you but no thanks, Mr Harrison, anyway.

The last few games, results have improved - whether this is because people are playing for contracts, or Wilkin was playing people out of position and with an ethos towards negative mind numbingly defensive football, quashing the true talents of the current squad, it is difficult to tell.

It might just turn out that the players we have aren't as bad as we thought and with the addition of some trusted faces from Mills's past, preferably in the midfield playmaker berth. God it would be lovely to have John Oster orchestrating things.

Then the false dawns that have promised so much with past appointments may just, you never know, finally give way to a sunnily entertaining and successful future.

As I finish my meal, I've just been chatting it through with a Scandinavian chap on the next table who reckons he's just eaten the testicles of a camel in the form of a pate, smeared over flat bread. His local team he tells me, recently went to their lowest league position in their history - they appointed a new man two years ago - now they are playing attractive football, have won promotion and the crowds are swarming back.

He had a name you could pun with and a nice face but then again, Scandinavians always do - I always loved Bjorn Borg - so much so, I even wear his underpants.

In his calming Scandinavian accent, only some camel pate caught in his beard denting his cool, he tells me everything will be OK and you know what - I think it will - I'm feeling strangely optimistic - maybe someone's put something in my milk but I'm feeling it. If we land Gary Mills, then he might just turn out to be our Mr Brightside. may just, you never know, finally give way to a sunnily entertaining and successful future.

CAPTION(S):

Gary Mills is our best realistic choice; INSET TOP: Kevin Wilkin was a rubbish boss and had sneaky eyes; BOTTOM: The job is too big for Harrison
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Title Annotation:Sport
Publication:Daily Post (Conwy, Wales)
Date:Apr 24, 2015
Words:1111
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