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A fat girl speaks.

While it goes against my entrepreneurial nature to let any niche market go unexplored--I'm thinking the realm of lesbian weight-loss hypnosis CDs could very well be the exception to the rule. Unfortunately, certified hypnotherapist and lesbian Mar Robbart disagrees. She recently launched her newest product, her self, professed "first-ever weight-loss product for lesbians," the Easiest Weight Loss for Lesbians hypnosis CD ($23, inventyourmind.com).

Now, given that I have been lauded in these very pages for my body image activism, I cannot imagine that CURVE expected streamers and a Sousa march when they asked me to review this product. I figure that gives me carte blanche for snark, so without further ado, let's start with the press release:

"[T]he listener will feel more attractive by losing weight and notice that whomever she finds attractive is finding her much more attractive," says Robbart. She explains she deliberately chose a woman to voice the CD."I felt that lesbian women would want to hear these types of messages from another woman."

Sure, Ms. Robbart. We want to hear more cliches from our sisters, mothers and lovers. Puhleeeeze deliver one more patronizing compliment to encourage us--for our own good--to discourage any variance from the arbitrary physical ideal laid out by our body-as-commodity culture. Shout "hallelujah" for the chance to get laid, providing we use this product to brainwash ourselves into subsisting entirely on celery, water and self-loathing.

After eight minutes or so of "you're getting very sleepy" the troublesome assumptions start tumbling into your suggestible psyche: "As you control your weight you are more in control of your life;" "All sexual activities are far more enjoyable now;" and, in a surprised voice, "You can buy clothes right off the shelf that flatter your new shape!"

Good gawd, it sounds like the back of a Jenny Craig micro-wave meal. When you lose weight, everything will be perfect! More importantly, until you lose weight, nothing will.

Instead of a step-by-step rebuttal of these vapid stereotypes, let me just tell you what my own hypnosis CD would say:

Wake up, ladies! Fitness and fatness are not mutually exclusive. If you can't find clothes that fit, organize a letter-writing party to demand a wider variety of sizes to suit the diverse population of the world. If you're not having good sex, dump the sad sack who can't get down with your hot bod and get busy worshiping your own fine self until you meet someone who deserves you. And if people don't take you seriously because you're fat, clear your throat and start again, slowly this time, so they can understand you. Hit the gym if you want, but don't let the scale tell you how you feel. Eat when you're hungry. Stop when you're full. Stop reading vapid women's magazines. Self-love doesn't come after you've changed and finally deserve it. It's the thing that makes you feel worth treating yourself well. You deserve to be loved, by yourself and others, now. Today. Exactly as you are.

Stacy Bias is a 33-year-old activist living in Portland, Ore. She organizes FatGirl Speaks bi-annually and can be found at stacybias.net.

PLAYING FOOTSIES

It's dorky to talk about insoles, and it makes me sound like I'm 85 years old. But, damn it, I'm in love with the uber-rad Superfeet. You may have seen the green and purple insoles being snagged up by some hipster who over-pronates in her Rykas (that was me, actually). Here's why a company founded by two old white guys in the '70s is becoming de rigueur today. When your feet hurt, you hurt.

And since most of us take 12,000 steps a day and only 10 to 15 percent of us have what does call "a good functioning foot," the rest of us need orthotics. Custom-made foot inserts are in the $250 range. But Superfeet brings good, 3D, orthotic support to the masses in the cool, money-back-guaranteed, $30-or-less range. (superfeet.com)

--Diane Anderson Minshall
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Title Annotation:Health; Easiest Weight Loss for Lesbians hypnosis CD
Publication:Curve
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Sep 1, 2008
Words:661
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