A Great British turn-off! It's baking by numbers.
Bake Off: The Professionals C4, Tue, 8pm One of the brilliant things about The Great British Bake Off is that you can almost taste what's happening on screen.
It might be 8.45pm on a Wednesday night, but you can almost believe you're standing under a warm gazebo, with crumbs on your chin from the Bakewell tart you've just crammed into your greedy mouth.
The problem with Bake Off: The Professionals is that it transports you to a less comforting place.
It's that of a working kitchen, with teams of stressed-out pro pastry chefs making things you can barely comprehend.
Last week was the first episode of the new series and instead of just making a big fat Bakewell tart, the teams were challenged to instead recreate one. Whatever that means.
The results seemed wonderful.
One entry looked like dainty sandwiches you might be served at an embassy for Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
It all appeared stunning, but sadly I couldn't imagine eating any of it.
When traditional Bake Off ends, I'm forced to rush to the kitchen to rip open the cooking chocolate that went out of date in 2014 because I'm so hungry.
Yet I can't relate to these lab-made confections.
A vertical mousse made with unicorn milk and served on Thor's hammer? Give me a slightly flaccid cupcake, anyday.
? Liam Charles, Benoit Blin, Cherish Finden and Tom Allen oversee a very different brand of Bake Off