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1 Say very loudly, and with a beaming face, "Oh, you really shouldn't have!" This has the added benefit of being completely true.

2 Watch Oscar ceremonies and the faces of the three losing nominees when the winner is announced. If they can do it, so can you, though, obviously, they are trained actors.

3 Say "I can't possibly accept this!" Again, it has the benefit of being completely true.

4 State that you are on Santa's naughty list this year, so are therefore not able or worthy to receive any gifts.

5 Think happy thoughts, like, "What would I do with PS100,000 if I won it on The National Lottery Christmas Countdown scratchcard that Uncle Howard gave me?" That should put a smile on your face to mask the horror at being given a whoopee cushion.

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Publication:Birmingham Mail (England)
Date:Dec 15, 2017
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