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2000 IN THEIR OWN WORDS; From the raw fury of Mike Tyson at Hampden to the tributes to Donald Dewar, 2000 has been quite a year for quotes. Here GARY RALSTON recalls some of the most memorable.

Byline: GARY RALSTON

SOME made us laugh out loud and others made us cry with sorrow or anger. But one thing is for certain - no one was stuck for words in the year 2000.

"Today I am worth pounds 88million. Obscene is the right word for it. Every penny I earn from now on I will give away." - Chris Evans after selling his Ginger Group to Scottish Media Group for pounds 75million.

"Don't worry. I know you're only doing your job." - Cherie Blair to a ticket attendant who fined her pounds 10 after she had failed to buy a pounds 9.70 train ticket.

"It was the most painful decision of my life. The Cuillins are part of my soul. But ultimately I consider the protection of existing jobs and the creation of new employment more important than acres." - John MacLeod of MacLeod puts the Cuillins in Skye up for sale at pounds 10million to pay for a new roof at Dunvegan Castle.

"John MacLeod should hang his head in shame. It just goes to show there is only one thing worse than a greedy foreign landlord and that's a greedy Scottish landlord." - Western Isles MP Calum MacDonald.

"This year's hairstyle is called a shag and our resident stylist is here to give our model one." - Lorraine Kelly on GMTV.

"I'd marry her myself, but my wife wouldn't let me." - Kirk Douglas on new daughter- in-law Catherine Zeta Jones.

"I'm the most brutal, vicious and ruthless champion there's ever been. There's no one can stop me, there's no one like me. I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat your children. Praise be to Allah." - Mike Tyson to Lennox Lewis after beating Lou Savarese in the first round at Hampden.

"It's just not the case we're homophobic. We've got homosexual friends. I've had people with HIV in my house." - Stagecoach boss Brian Souter as he pledges pounds 1million to fight the repeal of Section 28.

"Don't forget there is a family behind each individual guy in there." - Shipbuilder's wife Maria Stevenson appeals to Scottish Secretary John Reid with 12,000 jobs at risk as two German firms undercut Scots companies for a crucial Ministry of Defence order.

"We're very happy and don't see what all the fuss is about." - Louise Port, 23, on her relationship with 60- year-old Scotland boss Craig Brown.

"It was one of the proudest moments of my life." - Sir Sean Connery after his investiture at Holyrood Palace.

"My son is a good kid. We are a strong family and we will see him right at the other side of it." - Prime Minister Tony Blair after son Euan, 16, is found drunk in Piccadilly Circus.

"I was due to go out with my friends to celebrate, but I'm confused about what I should be celebrating." - Kirsty Anderson, 16, a fifth year pupil at St Augustine's in Edinburgh sums up the SQA exams fiasco.

"People shouldn't hate me for the rest of my life just because I've done this. It was only a game." - Nasty Nick Bateman is thrown out of the Big Brother house for cheating.

"I think as a teenager you can do that, especially if you're working hard in the heat." - Tory leader William Hague when asked if it was possible he drank 14 pints a day while delivering beer to pubs around Barnsley and Rotherham.

"On your 100th birthday all the family join with me in sending you our loving best wishes for this special day. Lilibet." - The Queen to her mother as she reaches a century in August.

"I would urge all publicans not to sell drink to George Best." - Professor Roger Williams, Best's doctor, makes a public plea after his client falls off the wagon.

"We would like to thank everyone involved. There are just so many kind and generous people in Scotland." - The parents of Robyn Watterson, whose face inspired the Daily Record's appeal to build a second children's hospice, after donations passed the pounds 1million barrier.

"She's a very impressive woman. We are an item - a couple." - Sir Paul McCartney speaks of his love for model girlfriend Heather Mills.

WE are overjoyed. It has been a wonderful day and a lovely ceremony, not just for us but for our families as well." - Chancellor Gordon Brown beams as he marries long- term love Sarah Macaulay.

"She has sent me a picture of herself and she bears more than a passing resemblance to Kathy Bates." - Ian McLean believed he was romancing an Indian princess on the internet. She was actually a bored, middle- aged housewife from the American midwest.

"I can't wake up mummy." - Tiger Lily on the phone to a friend of Paula Yates as her mother lies dead from a drugs overdose.

"Heroin was my best friend, my lover, it was all encompassing. I was a fully fledged smack jockey riding hard on it." - Marti Pellow recalls his drugs hell.

"I really like the clothes he wears, apart from my underwear. He keeps pinching my knickers." - Posh Spice reveals the secret side to David Beckham.

"I would like to have Brooklyn christened, but I'm not sure which religion yet." - David Beckham takes conspicuous consumption to new levels.

"People say footballers have terrible taste in music but I would dispute that. In the car at the moment I've got The Corrs, Cher, Phil Collins, Shania Twain and Rod Stewart." - Former Scotland striker Andy Gray, who clearly likes driving in the middle of the road.

"They might have well have given her a box of chocolates and a pat on the back." - Jeanette Adams, a victim of Sister Alphonso, after the nun was admonished by a judge despite being found guilty of child cruelty charges.

"I'm proud of where I come from. If someone is snobbish then that's their problem, not mine." - Former sheet metal worker Michael Martin, MP for Springburn, rounds on his critics as he becomes Speaker of the House of Commons.

"In Donald we had honesty, decency and compassion." - The Reverend Douglas Alexander at the funeral of First Minister Donald Dewar.

"Last met you here buying bargains at closing time." - A note written by a customer in the book of remembrance placed at Dewar's local supermarket in Glasgow's Anniesland. Canny to the last.
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Dec 28, 2000
Words:1047
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