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.. and a Happy D'oh! Year from all Scottish kiddies to you, Bart!


THE only thing poor Bart Simpson is ever likely to inherit is dad Homer's unwanted donuts, but at least he's getting recognition where it counts.

Scots kids have put him at the top of their New Year's Honours list.

While the Queen pays tribute to those who have served our community, almost half of the nation's children want to see the animated icon with an OBE pinned to his T-shirt.

An incredible 43 per cent of Scotland's kids voted for the skate-boarding dude, giving no thought to football referee Hugh Dallas, Ryder Cup winning captain Sam Torrance or actor Brian Cox, who all made the real list. Comedian Ali G came in second with 30 per cent of the vote and those happy Lord Of The Rings hobbits Pippin and Merry made third place with nine per cent. Joint fourth place on five per cent apiece went to cheeky Geordie duo Ant and Dec and Harry Potter's red-headed buddy Ron Weasley.

Bart's cartoon rival Cartman from Southpark came in joint last with no votes at all. He was joined at the bottom of Penguin Biscuit's alternative OBE poll by singer Robbie Williams, comic ace Dennis the Menace, Malcolm from TV show Malcolm In The Middle and Big Brother star Brian Dowling.

Penguin brand manager Emma Clemence said: "We think it would be great to see our cheekiest celebs get recognition for bringing a smile to our faces. We're intending to send Penguin's alternative OBE medal over to Matt Groening - hopefully he'll pass it on to Bart for us."

But Simpsons star Bart is used to topping charts. At the height of the Queen's jubilee success last year, he was voted more popular than the Royals in a Mori poll. In 2001, Bart and his dysfunctional family beat top British programmes to be named the best kids' show ever. And the animated star even came fourth in a poll of 20th century icons - beating off competition from real life heroes Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa and Marilyn Monroe.

But Bart himself is more likely to name Krusty the Klown as his icon.

As he himself said: "He's my idol! I've based my life on Krusty's teachings!" The Simpsons is a world-wide smash show and this year audiences will see its 300th episode. To mark the occasion, Bart will divorce his parents after he discovers they blew the fortune he made as a two year-old advert actor. But happier times are also ahead for the much-loved yellow family. Mum Marge is set to spice up her sex life by getting breast implants. And producers are thought to be considering a storyline involving feckless dad Homer Simpson winning an all-expenses-paid holiday to London for his family. During the trip, Bart ends up running into Prince William and the pair soon strike up a friendship. The prince, however, will not be the first famous face to appear on the show. Top names in the world of rock and movies consider it a great honour to be featured on the cult cartoon. Stars including Richard Gere, The Who, Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney and Michelle Pfeiffer have all been on since it was first screened in the States in 1989.

But unlike other celeb turns on the show, it is doubtful if the prince will do his own voice over.

TODAY'S TEXT TOPIC: Who would be on your New Year's Honours list?

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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jan 1, 2003
Previous Article:HAPPY DOUGH YEAR; Meet the wealthy heiresses who'll be in the money in 2003.

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