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[3] Dear Wendy.

Kinky sex is forcing us apart

QI AM in my late fifties and my husband is three years older. Recently he has found having sex difficult and now he is only interested in doing things which I find frankly distasteful.

He is always trying to convince me, cutting things out of magazines to show these acts are perfectly normal, sending for sex manuals etc - but it is causing awful rows between us.

I don't feel anyone should be forced to do something they don't want to do, or am I being a prude? It's getting so bad I almost feel like walking out.

Val from Sedgley

AI ENTIRELY agree that no one should be forced into sexual activities which he or she finds distasteful.

However, I do suggest that you have a quiet read of these books of your husband's and see if there is any lovemaking described in them which maybe you could comfortably contemplate. It should be possible to find something is acceptable and satisfying to you both.

You mention that your husband has experienced sexual difficulties lately - obviously he is desperately trying to rectify that. Trouble is in doing so he is turning you of and in turn that's frustrating him even more!

Maybe you need to get closer in other ways, to laugh about all this, not take it too seriously. If you can relax and find your old spark, all well and good. If not, then Relate could put you and/or your husband in touch with a sexual therapy clinic.
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Publication:Sunday Mercury (Birmingham, England)
Date:Jun 7, 1998
Words:256
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