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'I am very much alive.' (poem)

These poems were written by Sharon Jay Rodriguez, who lives in New York. They were submitted by a friend who says Sharon "is quite ill with AIDS."

"She began writing poetry," the friend wrote, "in the hope of not only giving voice to her own frustrations and long-suppressed emotions but also to leave something of herself behind for other victims of this disease."

Yes! Thank you, Jesus HIV + Death Escape,The answer to all my prayers. Misery depression loneliness shame desperation all going to be erased and i won't have to do anything i'm gonna die, yeah - and i won't have to worry about hell with the contemplation of suicide part of the price would be an express ticket to hell, God don't forgive suicide So having HIV + going to die from it is, was, should have been the perfect ending to my dilemma of my sadden life right? Having AIDS, my end, my graceful exit my butt! Presently i am very much alive living with AIDS feeling this Godawful urgency to accomplish some short-term goals This urgency to undo all the wrongs

I just wanted to say one

last thing to everyone

who is


in my


it's simple

it's sincere

it's honest

it's desperate

it's final

it's necessity

it's guilt

it's love

it's loneliness

it's responsible (in an irresponsible


it's sad

it's not

it is ....

I'm sorry,

so so so

sorry Sorry with a capital "S" Sorry with a tear Sorry with a deep deep

pain, in my heart ....

Death came aknocking at my back door it ran from window

to window it tried to slide thru the telephone line

but i hung up i shut the shades

i didn't answer the door ....

i hid

i shook my fright almost won

out till brother faith came

out of my bedroom door

faith led me to the armor of life

and prepared with love i fought back

death came aknocking at my back door

i refused to let him

COPYRIGHT 1993 National Catholic Reporter
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Copyright 1993 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Author:Rodriguez, Sharon Jay
Publication:National Catholic Reporter
Date:Feb 12, 1993
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