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'Don't miss' shows a the Millennium Centre.

Byline: By Steve Tucker South Wales Echo

It's sad to admit, but I may be the only person in Cardiff who hasn't yet been to the Wales Millennium Centre.

Unfortunately, I haven't managed to sell enough blood to be able to afford a ticket. But that doesn't stop me bringing you all the latest news from the prestigious Cardiff Bay venue.

So here is that Wales Millennium Centre new season in full:

n RODNEY BERMAN - THE OPERA: Controversial musical about a fresh-faced young lad with no neck who becomes leader of Cardiff council and then, er, well... really doesn't do very much.

Also starring Russell Goodway as God.

Tucker rating: If you miss this, you're mad or dead. Or both.

n FOOTLOOSE - THE MUSICAL: A young drifter (Gavin Henson) moves to a town where using hair gel is illegal, but via the medium of dance he rebels against the rules and soon everyone has a stupid haircut and is waxing their chests. In a tragic finale, Gav is electrocuted in a bizarre hair-straighteners incident.

Tucker rating: Fun for all the family.

n THE MAGIC TICKETS: Welsh National Opera is back with this comic tale about a wizened man called Sam who, in an old wardrobe in Ninian Park, finds thousands of tickets which can transport the owner to a mystical land called Highbury.

At first he decides to give them to everyone, then he decides not to, then he decides he will again and then he decides you can have one as long as you know the magic words: 'I believe work on the stadium starts in April, although I'm not quite sure which April.'

Also starring Peter Ridsdale as Aslan the Lion.

Tucker rating: Anyone got any spares?

n RHODRI SCISSORHANDS: A moving new ballet based on the film in which the unfortunate Rhodri has scissors instead of hands.

Despite being great at cutting other people's hair, he can never get his own quite right and it ends up looking like a poodle clambered on his head and died.

Also starring Peter Hain as Peter Manicuredhands and Russell Goodway as God.

Tucker's rating: I cried, but then they let me leave.

n STARLIGHT EXPRESS: Mesmerising musical about trains running between Cardiff and London.

You will shriek with delight as work in the Severn Tunnel means it'll take you six hours to get home. Gasp in awe as leaves on the line mean a two-hour wait on the platform at Cardiff Central.

Laugh with disbelief as a bloke tries to charge you pounds 14.50 for a cup of tea and a sandwich.

Also starring Russell Goodway as the Fat Controller.

Tucker rating: Worth the price of a platform ticket.

n EVERYTHING GOES: Cole Porter's much-loved musical about one summer at Cardiff City Football Club, includes the season ticket-stopping numbers: 'I Get a Kick Out Of Being Transferred to West Ham,' 'You're The Top of the Premiership Playing For Wigan' and 'It's De-Lovely Warming The Bench At West Brom.'

Also starring Russell Goodway as Sam Hammam and Peter Ridsdale as Trevor the Stoat.

Tucker rating: Sure to be a complete sell-out.

n FLAMENCO IN CONCERT: Load of Spanish birds get up and stamp about a bit because they're angry that the bullfight has been cancelled or something.

Bloke with a funny moustache, who looks a bit like that waiter who tried to get off with your daughter in Benidorm last year, enters in a pair of tight pants.

A series of flamboyant kicks symbolise the eternal struggle between man and woman. A split in his trousers means he has to be helped back to his seat.

Tucker rating: Ole!
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Publication:South Wales Echo (Cardiff, Wales)
Date:Dec 12, 2005
Words:609
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