reader forum.

Playing for our team

Bravo to Billy Bean for having the courage to share his private show with the world ["Safe at Home," December 21]. Many of us can relate to his earlier years of anguish in the closet and the sense of freedom we feel when we are true to ourselves. You haven't let anyone down, Billy; you've only made this world a better place for all of us, especially gay athletes who have been denied their place at the table of professional sports.

Mark McCormick, Redmond, Wash.

It was inspiring to read about a gay athlete's coming-out and equally inspiring to read how he had found a partner and was willing to leave sports for the sake of his relationship--more power to both of them! I hope that Bean's example will encourage other athletes to come out. We need to change both the image and the world of sports so that young gays and lesbians will not feel that sport is a closed world to them and to create a sports world where we are all safe.

Nat Brown, Edmonds, Wash.

Bean is wrong: The first out player on a major-league team needn't have the status of Michael Jordan. What he will have to have is the self-confidence Bean never had. It may give us a warm and fuzzy feeling when Bean, Greg Louganis, and other ex-athletes come out, but it is hardly a heroic act on their part. The first major leaguer to come out while still playing will be someone truly worthy of being the role model young gay athletes are waiting for.

Mike Phalen, Denver, Colo.

Slowly but surely, one by one, step by step out of the closet we come. While the tide appears to push us back to shore on occasion, nothing can stop our progress. In every corner of society, it is happening. With each one of these stories made public, we make our mark and get closer to what we know to be self-evident: that we all are created equal and the recognition of our equal rights will occur.

My pride in Bean and others who take the bold steps to come out ensures that all of us will be guaranteed our rights in the long run. There are too many of us to stuff back into the closet. There are too many of us to continue to reject. Our being out is the quickest, most certain way we will win our rights in the end.

Dave Kaplan, Des Moines, Wash.

Promoting Bean as a poster boy for gay people is nothing but internalized homophobia within the gay media. Just what is it that makes Bean so great? I guess it is because he's an "acceptable" role model as an all-American athlete, even though he spent the majority of his life living a closeted lie--married a woman, then he left her for a man whom he was so ashamed of that he made the poor dude hide out in the car whenever friends would visit, and then when that guy died suddenly, he didn't even go to his funeral but went and played a game the very next day instead! Give me an out and proud sissified drag queen to idolize anytime over the self-serving, closeted Bean.

Kurt Baum, San Antonio, Tex.

Great article about the reality of coming out--the fears, trials, tribulations. I have only come out in the past year at 43 years of age. I could identify with many of Bean's comments about the double life. Thanks for all you do to help those of us as we struggle to admit and face who we are privately and, more important, publicly.

R. Kevin Borowiak, Cleveland, Ohio

I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the Bean interview. I happen to really enjoy sports, which, unfortunately, a lot of gay men don't. Maybe it's because I come from an athletic family. I was taken to my first hockey game about 30 years ago and have been hooked ever since. I find in sports, especially hockey, a great release and escape from the rigors of life. Now if only someone would come out of the closet from the ultra-macho National Hockey League, that would answer my wish.

Tom Harding, Spokane, Wash.

Body politics

Regarding your article on plastic surgery ["Plastic Made Perfect," December 21], I just wanted to say that I am a 38-year-old lesbian who has gone under the plastic surgeon's knife three times. Three years ago I had breast implants, not a reduction. Having breast-fed my three children did a number on my oh-so-small breasts. I didn't do it for men. I didn't do it for my partner of seven years. I did it for me. Last Thanksgiving I had lipo done on my knees, thighs, and hips. Just a few weeks ago I had a "leg lift" (too much skin). I have no regrets about having done this to my body. I realize that the gay community does tend to lean toward a more natural approach, but anyone who walks off the beaten path shouldn't point fingers or jeer at anyone else for doing the same.

Tracey Miller, Houston, Tex.

When I decided to have my breasts reduced, my decision was based on the physical symptoms I suffered with on a daily basis. Nobody told me that lesbians have that procedure performed because they're less influenced by male standards of female beauty. Nor did I know that lesbians aren't supposed to value their appearance unless it's "authentic." I find it disturbing that the people you interview for your articles would perpetuate such stereotypes.

The sad irony is that you put a good-looking athlete like Billy Bean on the cover and an advertisement with an Adonis-like model directly across from the second page of the feature article. Talk about perpetuating stereotypes.

Amy Kenter, Long Branch, N.J.

The way plastic surgery is portrayed in this article disturbs me. The majority of plastic surgery is reconstructive--often from trauma or cancer. Cosmetic surgery is a subspecialty whose goal is to restore a more youthful form. While some come in search of creating a dramatic life change by augmenting their appearance, most patients are more interested in enhancing what they already have. For these patients, plastic surgery is the answer. Those hoping to save a failing relationship, get a better job, or just be a different person will always be disappointed. These all come from hard work and personal growth, not surgery.

The article portrays most people interested in plastic surgery as lazy, unhappy, and in search of a quick fix. Also, it presents the gay community as men in search of the "boy toy" image and lesbians as women who have no interest in their appearance. This is not necessarily the case. The goals of plastic surgery are to achieve results without looking like you've had surgery. Several patients report being asked, "Have you been on vacation; you look well-rested." That's what we're trying to achieve.

Lisa Hunsicker, MD, Galveston, Tex.

As a 30-year-old lesbian, I too believed that my lesbian community held little stock in the importance of the body beautiful. Until, that is, I lost 30 pounds. Women who wouldn't give me the time of day suddenly became interested in me, and I doubt that had anything to do with my wit or sensitivity as a human being. Many lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered women I know change the color of their hair, use cosmetics, work out, and, yes, even opt for plastic surgery to please other women or attract a female partner. While I judge this as neither good nor bad, I do think that while many of our ideals hold that we only examine the inner self, we cannot help but interact, on some level, as people socialized in an overly body-conscious culture.

Danielle Haraburda, via the Internet

Queer as Brits

In his column about gay characters on TV (Last Word, December 21), Gabriel Rotello writes, "I long for the day when writers and producers start to mine the real mother lode of gay drama." Now, I realize Rotello is writing about American TV, but it is obvious he hasn't seen a tape of the brilliant British TV series Queer as Folk. It's the opposite of everything he complains about in his column. The "mother lode" of gay drama has already been made. It's too bad it will never air in America.

Alan Light, Iowa City, Iowa 

For the record

In the December 21 issue of The Advocate, the watercolor image of Richard Nixon on page 10 should have been credited to [C] Franklin McMahon/Corbis and the photo of Billy Bean on page 36 should have been credited to J.P. Cuban/Allsport.