muse mail

Dear oh-so-great Muse,

'Ello! Well, that's enough chitchat; let's get down to business. First: I would LOVE an issue about politics. I read about candidates from both parties in Newsweek a lot, but their articles are reeeeeeally long and in reeeeeeally small print. They're great articles, but I love your articles because there are lots of pictures. The length of them just pushes my attention span of a dung beetle.

Okay, I know the politics thing probably won't happen, because not many kids like politics, so I have another thing to say! People always write in with their letters, pleading to not have them sent into the dreaded FMP. Maybe I'm just ignorant about the hip slang terms and abbreviations of magazine company machines, but after a long time of reading Muse I have no idea what FMP stands for. My best guess was Freaky Monkeys from Pluto, but then Pluto was found to be an imposter, so I trashed that idea. Freakishly Moody Poodles? Fiendish Mastermind Paleontologists? One can only guess.

Adieu!

Katie L, age 12, NH

P.S. PLEASE, do NOT throw this letter into the Flower Meadows of Poland!

Are you sure? The Flower Meadows of Poland are very nice-much nicer than the Fiery Magma Planet, where we used to send unwanted mail. Or sometimes we fed it to the Funky Maroon Pigs (we've gotten rid of them; don't ask) or just replied to the sender with a well-aimed Fudgy Marshmallow Pie. Nowadays, though, we mostly toss the stuff into the Fan Mail Pit.

-Chad

Dear Muse,

I just noticed Aeiou's name is just all the vowels. Was that on purpose?

In the November/December 2007 issue, Sofya of California had many good questions, and I have an answer for one of them. Her question: "Can Aeiou talk?" My answer: After years (minutes) of back-breaking (I was half-asleep) research, I now know (maybe) why Aeiou never talks! She is the Muse of technology, is she not? Well, technology's ultimate goal is to prevent people from talking to one another! It only wants communication over the phone, IM, email, writing, and text messaging! Soon the universal language will be interpretive dance! Why? Because no one will be able to talk! I hold nothing against Aeiou, she is just being the Muse of technology. She is just being who she is, and in today's world, that is very good.

This is a message to the people of the world: STOP THREATENING AND BLACKMAILING THE EDITORS! IT'S NOT NICE! If you feel that you can only get what you want by using threats, may I suggest counseling? Or perhaps joining your school debate team?

In my sixth grade language arts teacher's collection of Muse, there was a page dedicated to the Muses, who they were and what they are the Muse of. Where did it go? I miss it.

Bye Muses! Bye people!

Rachel G., age 12, MI

Aeiou says she's not very good at interpretive dance. I guess I'll have to speak for her in the fixture, too . . .

-Crraw

Anyone who wants to meet the Muses should check out the FAQs and Muse glossary at www.musefanpage.com! We lave meeting new people!

-Mimi

Dear Muse,

I was trying to make a list of all the feelings using the word "Muse":

I've got the Muse blues

I feel like a Muset loser

I feel like Muse-ics in me

I feel a-Muse-ing

I want to think up some more. I also want to say I think Kokopelli is a.-Muse-ing.

Leah B., age 9, IL

PS: Hey Kokopelli! Do you like this letter? You'd better or I'll send my saber-toodied tiger to attack you! (Just kidding.)

Your letter made me feel compLEAHtely great! I LEAHped for joy when it came!

-Kokopelli

Dear Muse,

I will not claim to be a decade-old fan, but I have been reading your magazine for about three years. I do not recall having seen a letter like this one, so DO NOT THROW THIS IN THE FMP! You see, I am not only a Muse fan, I am a POME What does this acronym stand for? I am a Parent Of Muse Fans. Other than cashing our checks, you probably rarely hear from us.

I have three objectives in writing this letter. First, I would like to surprise my children. They think that I am a hopeless fuddy-duddy, not realizing how hip I really am. (Of course, I probably clinched their assessment by using the word "hip" in the previous sentence.) second, I want to send a message to my friend, Theresa in Pittsburgh. She is a parent and is, hopefully, on her way to becoming a POMF herself. The message is "Hi Theresa!" Third, I want to suggest that Muse do an issue in 2008 on something related to the upcoming presidential elections or political parties or the history of our two-party system. Nothing too educational, just some fun stuff that they would not be learning in school.

That's it! Keep up the good work!

Kathleen G., age 40, MO

I would much rather meet a POMF than a Freakishly Moody Poodle.

-Chad

Hello Mus!

I absolutely LOVE the magazine, and this year I was even my Muse for my Halloween costume! I was browsing through my collection of old Muses and I rediscovered this gem. Inspired, I spent the whole month of October on the frame, costume and wig. Even with all of my devotion to the details, I couldn't bring myself to shave my eyebrows (makeup just made them darker), and I didn't get brown contacts.

Nonetheless, many people enjoyed my Mona Lisa costume, but possibly none more than my beloved cat Bheema. He has recently taken up residence in the frame using the dress and shawl as his bed.

Keep up the good work, Muse!

Mollie R., age 15.9616438356, MI

That's an amazing costume, Mollie! I have two questions: One, did your feathers-er, wig, itch? And two, do you ever forget why you're dressed up in the first place?

-Feather

Dearest, wonderful, superawesometerrific Muse,

I love you! To show how much I love you, I have written a poem. Please accept it! *makes puppy-dog face*

Muse, O Muse, where have you

gone?

Muse, O Muse, it's been too long.

I think of your tales each day and

night,

Your stones stay with me and

don't give me fright,

Muse, O Muse, I love you so.

Crraw, what do you think?

I also think that it is customary to list my favorite Muses . . . here goes. Koko and Crraw tie for first. Then there is Aeiou. You rock with the sleeve-signing thing. It's awesome! Next are Urania and then Pwt. Pwt, have you ever caught Crraw? Next is Feather. And finally, Chad, Mimi, and Bo tie. Don't be sad, though. My 11-year-old brother thinks you are the best.

Lovingly,

Emily G., age 14.5, IL

Emily, O Emily, thank you for the poem;

I like it almost as much as my own!

I write lovely verses, don't R

Plus, I look spiffy in a Bo-tie.

-Crraw

Salve Muse!

"Salve" means "hi" in Latin. I absolutely loved your November/ December issue! That's probably because I am a history freak! Plus I can relate to two of the articles. I put a message in a botde in the Adantic Ocean two months ago. Hey Feather, why don't you go find it for me and then I won't have to say my bottle is MIA (missing in action). And also my father's side of the family came to America from England 7 years after the Mayflower. Which is sooo cool because most people don't even know when their family came to America, and I can tell you all sorts of things like how my cousins are living in the same house that my great great (lots of greats) grandfather built when he came to America.

Anyway, will you PLEASE write about Urania's history, maybe along with the rest of the REAL muses? Not that I have anything against the Muse Muses. Except Kokopelli. Koko is a bully and is really mean to Feather. I have followed Koko's bullying habits for a while and he needs to be grounded for a few years!

And if you don't put this in the magazine I will send my group of monitors, real muses, Greek gods, spidrens, stormwings, armunculas, war horses, sirens, and the Hydra. All of those are really bad, just letting you know. Plus they will all be carrying stink bombs and mandrakes and riding hippogryphs so they will be especially dangerous, and stinky.

Vale (goodbye in Latin),

Caroline, Ruler of History Nerds, Empress of Mulian (my fantasy land from the book I am writing), Queen of Library Nerds, and Warrior of All Books, age 12, CT

It's cool that you know so many facts about your family! All the details of my family tree are lost in Abkhazia. . . You should check page 38 to see if your message in a bottle washed up!

-Bo

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