muse mail

Dear Muse,

Enclosed are two pictures of me reading Muse on a recent trip to Washington, D.C. The first was taken the night before the national spelling bee, in the ballroom where the bee was held. (I tied for 34th place.)

The second was the day after the bee. The man standing next to me is Robert Coontz. In case the picture of me with Muse and a GAPA (Great And Powerfiil Administrator) isn't enough, I guess I need a threat. So, if you don't publish this letter, I shall send my army of ducks to attack the editors. (I do have an army of ducks. I am the ruler of Duckland, after all.) Also, while I'm on the subject of ducks, an article on them would be nice. Or a whole issue, like you did on dogs and cats. (Dogs are much better, by the way.) Pwt (who is definitely female; Larry Gonick probably meant to say "she" in Attack of the Smart Pies, he just mistyped) PWNS! HPBs rule! Muse rocks! Rocks muse! Aeiou/ Crraw for president!

Emma M. (a.k.a. emma the duck), age 124/2(Yes, that says 124/2. It's my way of avoiding being a teenager.), California

P.S. Nothing to do with eating ducks when you do the issue on them! Good things only!

What??!! A picture of Robert Coontz?! Who knew his picture could be taken? We all thought he was a shapeshifting, wispy pattern of ones and zeroes that spilled out of the Internet once in a while to manage the Unofficial Muse Blog and then dissolved into sparkles that fade mysteriously into the night. Oh, well, no one can be right all the time!

-Urania

Quack quack.

-Crraw having an identity crisis

Muse,

*BEEP**BEEP**BEEP* This is an automatic warning initiated by the radioactive plant at Kelsey's home in Sydney, Australia. There is a team of self-destructing, flying, mutant monkey minions (with laser eyes) on their way to the publishing house now. Koko, do not, repeat, DO NOT throw pies at them, or else their brains will shoot tiny robotic bugs with Damascus swords to commit genocide on all the Muses. The only way to avoid these horrors is to publish this warning and the attached letter in the next issue of Muse . . . WATCH our . . . SHE'S COMING!!!! *BEEP**BEEP**BEEP*

Two months ago my friend Sophie and I wrote to our favorite magazine (is there any question that it would be Muse, the ruler of the universe, and all pathetic and boring non-Muse readers, too?), and what do you know, the very first picture from Australia was sent into the horrors of the FMP. I was appalled and sent my monkey minions after you, but funnily enough my radioactive plant sent you an automatic message. I am EXTREMELY GLAD of that and officially apologize for any genocide I may have accidentally caused . . . Sorry . . . Attached is the FIRST EVER picture of Muse Readers in Australia!!!!! *insert confetti here*

END OF TRANSMISSION

Kelsey, age 15, Sydney (woohoo)

P.S. Sorry about the possible genocide . . . I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Eek! Is this what they mean by "tough love"?

-Mimi

Dear Muse,

I love your mag!!! (My morn let me put only 3 exclamation marks! I wanted to put 100!) I was born January 24, 1997. I'm as old as Muse!!! Kokopelli, can you throw a pie at my friend, Alessandra? Can AEIOU talk? By the way, Pwt, can you, like, stop chasing Crraw? Bye!

Sofya, age 10, California

P.S. Stop blackmailing the editors!!!

P.P.S. My favorite Muses are Bo, Feather, Kokopelli, Urania, Aeiou, Crraw, Pwt, and Mimi. Not necessarily in that order.

P.P.P.S. Why do the Muses live in a desert?

You have so many good questions, Sofya, four to be exact, and by a remarkable coincidence, I know the answer to all but four of them! Why don't we ask around?

-Urania

Pie your friend? Would she still be your friend if I did?

-Kokopelli

Aeiou says, why do you want to know if she can talk?

-Crraw

Why does everyone want me to stop chasing Crraw? Don't they realize it's our destiny?

-Pwt

We live in the desert because we try to avoid people. Haven't you read Attack of the Smart Pies?

-Chad

Wow, look at this. We managed to answer your four questions with SEVEN questions of our own! Isn't that amazing? Oops . . . does that make it eight? Nine? Ten? Eleven?. . .

-Urania

Dear Muse,

I LOVED the April 2007 issue. I know that it seems a little late to be talking about that, but due to a series of inexplicable events, beginning with a slight delay in delivery and ending in a daring rescue attempt in the dank cave lair of trie monstrous ultra-troll (in other words, my brothers room), I did not get to read the issue until a few months afterward. I am a great fan of origami and was heartbroken when I saw that I had missed the contest. I decided to make a model anyway. I cheated a bit, using a piece of paper for Kokopelli and one for the flute. I also didn't have a big enough piece of black paper to make Koko, so I used gray. My favorite piece in the book was Satoshi Kamiya's dragon, closely seconded by Lang's lobster. The article was one of the best I have seen in Muse, as it was interesting, went in depth on the subject matter, and talked about the subject in relation to others, and I hope there are more like it. I also enjoyed the article on Harry Potter in the July/August issue. I think that the last book was the best, but I think that J. K. Rowling should definitely keep writing. I think that, though Harry is finished, she should move on to other stories. I am an aspiring author myself, and I am a great fan of C. S. Lewis, J. R. R, Tolkien, and Eoin Golfer, as well as J. K. Rowling. I love the magazine. Keep up the good work!

Peter Marchetti, age 13, Pennsylvania

I'm going to cheat, too, Peter, and award you the Special Judges Grand Prize in the Intergalactic Kokopelli-folding origami contest! Yours was the best (and only) entry! -Kokopelli

Dear Muse,

In your 10th-birthday issue that appeared in January, "Bo's Page" featured previously published factoids. I am writing to inform you that one of the false facts, entitled "Wireless Power," is not only true but also surprisingly accurate. The item read: "The system, called Unplugged, lets you run any appliance in your home without plugging it in. How does it work? You plug a high-efficiency power transmitter into a normal socket. It broadcasts power-on a now unused frequency-to high-efficiency receivers on your appliances."

Well, I recently read about a technology called Powercast that is used to send power over radio waves. The transmitter, or Powercaster, plugs into an ordinary wall socket and broadcasts low-power radio waves. A special receiver, or Powerharvester, captures the energy of this radio signal and converts it into regular DC electricity. According to the Web site (powercastco.com), products using this technology are expected to be available in the U.S. as early as the end of the year. Also, considering that this company was founded in 2003, this factoid has essentially been true since it was first published. Thank you for 10 years of fun and informative articles!

Cheers from a long-time reader, Catia

Thanks for letting us know, Catia! My face is red-thanks to my wireless-powered electric paintbrush!

-Chad

Nikola Tesla, inventor of the electric motor and a zillion other bits of electric wizardry, had the idea of wireless power transmission around a hundred years ago, but it never got off the ground.

-Bo

Unlike several of us who touched the generator.

-Kokopelli

Dear Muse,

Here is a photo of me holding Muse deep in the jungles of the island of Borneo (Sarawak, Malaysia), in front of the sign for Clearwater Cave, which has one of the worlds longest underground rivers.

Hugo Kessler, age 10, Virginia

Crawling through caves in Borneo Can give you a major sore knee, oh!

-Crraw

Katie Hendrickson, a Muser from Michigan who goes by "Shadowkat" on the blog, sent this photo of Kokopelli's Mexican Restaurant.

I'd know that pose anywhere, Katie: you're holding two invisible pies, aren't you? Now, why didn't I think of that...?

-Kokopelli

Send letters to Muse Mail, 70 E. Lake Street, Suite 300, Chicago, IL 60601, or send them by e-mail to [e-mail].