catholic tastes.

BASIC EDUCATION

"Newspaper reports about the pope's frailty are often illustrated by pictures of him with his eyes closed and his head in his hands," notes the London-based Tablet (May 27, 2000). One such photo ran in the Guardian newspaper this spring with a story that speculated on whether Pope John Paul II might retire for health reasons.

"But did the picture and the story really belong together? Almost certainly not. As one bemused reader put it: 'I think it's time someone pointed out to pagans in the press that when Christians close their eyes and cover their faces, it doesn't mean they're in great pain. It means that they're praying."

DOROTHY'S DESSERT

"For all their power to inspire a young girl," writes Kathleen Norris in The Cloister Walk (Riverhead, 1996), "the virgin martyrs convey an uneasy message of power and powerlessness. They die, horribly, at the hands of imperial authorities. They are sanctified by church authorities, who eventually betray them by turning their struggle and witness into pious cliche, fudging the causes of their martyrdom to such an extent that many contemporary Catholics, if they're aware of the virgin martyrs at all, consider them an embarrassment, a throwback to 19th-century piety; the less said, the better.

"A book published in the early 1960s, My Nameday--Come for Dessert, is a perfect example of this heady ambiguity. Offering both recipes and religious folklore, the book defines virgin martyrs as young women `who battled to maintain their integrity and faith.' But the radical assertion--that girls could have such integrity as to suffer and be canonized for it--is lost in Betty Crocker land: 'Saint Dorothy was racked, scourged, and beheaded in Cappadocia. Her symbols are a basket of fruit and flowers, which may be incorporated in a copper mold for her nameday dessert.'"

"SON OF GOD? THAT'LL DO NICELY."

If your own photo, the Starship Enterprise, or any other secular image doesn't get you credit, there is now a more promising option: the Jesus Christ Credit Card. "Show the world your love for Jesus Christ, by putting his image on your credit card, only from NextCard Visa," runs the sales blurb. The card's instigator points out, "I do not see anything wrong with putting a picture of the savior of humanity on a credit card. I have had everyone from Catholic priests and nuns to Baptist ministers thank me for this concept."

There are dozens of NextCard Visa Christs to choose from, notes the Gadgets for God Web site (ship-of-fools.com/Gadgets), "but, intriguingly, none of them show Jesus throwing the money changers out of the temple."

HMM, INTERESTING!

According to a recent survey by the Center of Sociological Research in Spain, 84 percent of the country's population define themselves as Catholics, but only 77 percent believe in God. (The Tablet, May 6, 2000)

FLEXIDOXY?

"Flexidoxy [is] a perfect word to describe [boomer] spirituality. It starts with flexibility and freedom, the desire to throw off authority and live autonomously. But it also suggests an opposing impulse toward orthodoxy--a desire to ground spiritual life within a tangible reality, ordained rituals, and binding connections that are based on deeper ties than rationality and choice." --David Brooks (Bobos in Paradise, Simon & Schuster, 2000)

BEWARE OF THE MEANIES 

"My line of distinction is not between conservative and liberal so much as between mean-conservative and non-mean-conservative and mean-liberal and non-mean-liberal." --Church historian Martin E. Marty (Context, June 15, 2000)

SOUND ADVICE

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you are a mile away from him and you have his shoes." --Anonymous (via e-mail)