Zine thing.

ELK, #5

Jocko's done it again. Instead of trying to list what is inside this issue of Elk, which doesn't really give you any idea of what's going on here, let me just tell you that it makes sense in some way, but I am not exactly sure if the sense it makes for you will be the sense it makes for me. Is it a movement? Is it modern art? Is it a political statement? Is it pornography? Is it literature? I guess I can't define it, but I know it all when I see it. Send Jocko a couple bucks for this and you try to figure it out: 195 Powers St, Brooklyn, NY 11211

GENETIC DISORDER, #17

Yeah! A new Genetic Disorder! Larry, the guy who does this, is a San Diego area freaker with an eye for the offbeat and interesting; this issue even comes with a 3D cover and glasses. He's not livin' high on the hog, as you can tell from the intro, which makes a lot of the stuff easy to identify with. Inside is a record of when Johnny Thunders came to town, Spot #58 in the loser's guide to San Diego (which happens to be the sporting goods store where the Menendez brothers bought the shotguns they used to kill their parents), a reprinting of a warning pamphlet that purports to explain "youth sub-cultures," an interview with the Coachwhips, a guide to the 15 shootings by the San Diego Police Department for 2002, road trips, record reviews, etc. There's an account of former 151 team goon Zach Connelly's trip to the Chicago Rock 'n' Roll Blackout, which is another beer-swillin' good read. Genetic disorder is becoming an institution and, even though it comes out infrequently, it's always good for a few belly laughs, several guffaws, much chortling, and the occasional whinny. Send $4 to: PO Box 15237, San Diego, CA 92175

HORIZONTAL ACTION, NUMBERS 11 AND 12

If the world was the way it should be, and not the way it is, Horizontal Action would come out on a weekly basis and shit like Time and Newsweek would come out sporadically. This mag is hands-down one of the best 'zines going, full of attitude and killer punk rock (leaning toward the garage and noise and nouveau wave stuff). Plus it totally unashamedly embraces nudity and porn, so don't get yer panties in a bunch (but do hide it from yer mom). The guys in Chicago who do this sent me two issues at a time, almost too much to take. Number 11 includes the beginning of a multi-article piece on early Chicago punk (which is great), interviews with the Cripples, the Tyrades, the Hunches, tons of record and live show reviews, an expose of the LA Shakedown 2003 ("The LA Letdown"), the Hunt for Jenna Haze, movie reviews, and more. Number 12 has much of the same regular features and interviews with Taxi, The Dirty Sweets, The Real Losers and the Ponys, an article on the best blowjob songs, and an article on Tract Lords. Not for the faint of heart or those easily offended, and certainly not for the underage crowd. Great stuff, great writing, great photos ... thanks again to the folks at Horizontal Action. Send $3 to: 1433 N Wicker Park Avenue, Suite 2, Chicago, IL 60622

GIGS FROM HELL

What we have here is a book about life on the rock and roll road, told by various bands, and edited by Sleazegrinder. According to the foreword written by Vadge Moore of the Dwarves, "Touring musicians are like sick anti-heroes, and this collection of stories forms an infernal bible for those who don't have the guts to live like we do ... We are the degenerate superheros who are obligated to take the drugs, drink the booze, and screw the whores, so that you don't have to." The book is broken down into four sections: basically sex, hometown shows, problems, and mayhem. There are some great bands represented (Antiseen, the Needles, Girl Trouble, to name a few) but they are mostly unknowns. Some of the stories are great and over the top, but honestly, some seem a little tame compared to the average skateboarder tour. That being said, it's a good read. It's put out by Headpress with a cover price of $19.95, so look for it at decent bookstores or on the Web.

WHEELBITE, #1

Straight outta Dirty Jersey, this one starts off with a bunch of stories about cops and busts, which is alright, but quickly moves to some more varied and interesting stuff. An ode to Avril? Sure. Vietnam War stories from the uncle? OK. Pining for the days of launch ramps? Uh, okaaayyy.... Reviews of old flicks with skating in them? I'll take it. An interview with Karl Bruce Sadowski? My cat's name is Bruce, so what the hell. Don't know who he is? Get this and you will. There's a ton of stuff in here--most of it's pretty good, and some skating as well. It says free on the cover but it might take a couple bucks to get it through the mail. "But how am I going to do that," you ask, "when the guy didn't even put his address in the 'zine?" Good question. And I don't know the answer.