Zine thing.

STREET THEATER, #5

Got a big envelope of issues of this 'zine from Omaha, NE. It's done by a skater and has some great stuff (such as why working at the skatepark sucks and why it's hard to relate to people who don't skate--often so true), but has a lot more than skating in it: a story with the moral that if you don't tip your server and smoke crack in the bathroom, you're most likely not going to get away with it. It's rough around the edges and has some music and graffiti stuff. Send a buck to: 4303 Parker St, Omaha, NE 68114

Johnny suggested: venturing into the kitchen, smearing refried beans and rice all over my face, and stumbling out into the restaurant screaming, "Don't eat the beans! The beans is people! It's PEOPLE!"

BALANCE, #3

Hell yeah! It's number three from JP outta Philly! Road trips galore in this one--Louisville, Northwest, Arizona, tons of East Coast coverage, ruminations on the demise of Stone Edge, some characters you might recognize and a bunch you will never meet. Good advice, good photos, and good attitude will make Balance a staple of your throne room. Send a couple bucks to: 4251 Ridge Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19129

KOBRA KAI, #4

"Wax on, fuck off!" This appears to be the mantra of the creative force behind Kobra Kai. Its best feature is the layout, somewhat busy collages built around this issue's theme: stoner rock. Interviews include Bongzilla, Cherry Valence, the Champs and Nebula, and are mostly inane with a couple chuckles. There's a brief story on the robot football team challenging Earth to a game and some random stuff throughout, but next issue promises some footage of Skatopia Send a couple bucks if, this is up your alley: 426 Jefferson St, Oakland, CA 94607

SPIDDR, #7

Whoa, this one's cool. Straight outta Tennessee (and done by a Quadrajet and his girl, no less!). It's got some comics, pinball reviews, some fiction and local lore, "How to Make Vengeance from the Grave in Three Easy Steps," and the story of Skip James. All done well and with heart, it'll keep you busy on the crapper for a turd or two. Send $2 to: 1925 Hwy 69 South, Savannah, TN 38372

DULCE, #1

This one falls into the "personal stories" section. A rant about the food stamp office, hopping trains to nowhere, being accosted by a creepy old man in Paris, "Crappy Job Stories," a couple record reviews, an encounter with a cult icon, and a DIY tattoo article so you' can ink yourself up cheap. The writing's good and sincere-a good, quick read. Next issue promises a guide to the 'worst skate spots (but best make out spots) in NYC and more of the same. Send one hard-earned dollar to: 1102 Dean ST Apt #2, Brooklyn, NY 11216

THE STORY OF MY SCAB, #7

More frantic scratchings from William, honcho of this self-published sketchbook. It's a quick look through but enjoyable, with themes of birds, tanks, and bottles throughout, and an ode to Bon Scott. He just moved to Oregon, so write him at: 834 NE Church St, Portland, OR 97211

TALES FROM THE SHITTY JOB

One night, while I was still a server, I dealt with a rather crass customer who made me run around for him and then not tip me. Later that night I went to take a piss and found the same guy huddled around a urinal with a crack pipe clenched tightly between his lips and, Oh, did my eyes light up with the thought of revengel I pretended not to pay any attention as I washed my hands and walked out of the men's room which at this point reeked like burning plastic. I casually strolled up to Derrick, the Rent-A-cop, and told him it might be wise for him to do his routine bathroom check. Derrick was in there for what seemed like 10 minutes when he suddenly appeared with the non-tipping, crack-smoking culprit. He was handcuffed and being lead Out to the squad car with Derrick singing, "You don't smoke crack in the bathroom..." All the cooks and huddled around the back door watching Derrick run through the guy's pockets while he's whining, "Please man, uncuff me, gotta peel" To our amusement, a large wet mark formula ted around the dude's crotch. Derrick eventually let the guy go, the walks up and says," Hey, you guys want a crack pipe?' The moral of this tale is if you don't tip your server and then smoke crack in the bathroom you're most likely not going to get away with it. --Street Theater zine