Z's story: I'm learning many valuable lessons through this new challenge and I'm sure that I'll be able to help a lot more people in the medical arena as a result.

I tell you this story in the hope that what I've learned may have some meaning for you, your loved ones and/or your clients.

I had surgery for breast cancer on March 4, 2003. Having a diagnosis of cancer has been life altering. It's pushed me further along my spiritual path. Since the diagnosis I've learned, and now use, some powerful Sanskrit mantras. My favorite is the Gayatri. This mantra is available on a CD by Deva Premal (The Essence). I also play it in my office between clients to clear the energy.

I've had some major energy work done and, of course, two powerful hypnotherapy sessions. I was taking Prempro (this was the environmental cause). The underlying emotional cause was revealed during a powerful hypnotherapy session: the emotional damage from my second marriage which was reactivated during my last relationship. The diagnosis has been a blessing overall. I'm opening to new ideas and spiritual practices and I realize that I spend too much of my life at work.

I love what I do but I still need to play more! I stopped dancing several years ago following an orthopedic surgery but never replaced it with another activity that brought me joy. The thought of taking a pottery class activates a similar joyful feeling. I will go dancing again but in the meantime, I will be looking for a pottery class.

I had a dream the first night after I heard the diagnosis. I woke up right afterward and thought, Oh great, now I'm dreaming about the cancer. Then I asked myself what the message was, and heard, You're being given a healing. I've had to keep in mind that there are many ways to heal. The message didn't say: you're being given this healing in place of the surgery. In fact, as this process evolves, I can see that I'm healing emotionally and spiritually. Since the physical body is so dense, I believe that surgery was still required and I used hypnosis and energy work to accelerate healing.

Sometimes I use angel cards for insight. I pulled three angel cards (by Doreen Virtue) before the surgery. I asked first: What do I need to know about the March 4th date? (The date of surgery) and I pulled the Guardian Angel card. (I asked this because it looked as if the date might be changed to accommodate both doctors' schedules. Even though I didn't see the plastic surgeon until five days before the 4th, it did fit into his schedule) Next I asked, What do I need to know about the mastectomy? and I pulled the card for body care, which changed the way I perceived this surgery. I felt better about it once I could see it as a way to take care of the rest of my body. And finally I asked, What do I need to know about the plastic surgery? and I pulled the card for miracles. Well, the surgeon is going to reconstruct a breast and add an implant to the other side so that they'll match. Certainly a miracle to have a younger bust line on this mature body. (grin)

The interesting thing about all this is that, for once, my intuition did not warn me. Three years ago I knew that I needed to have my hip checked by a new doctor six months ahead of schedule but I had no such warning about this. Maybe because I was so sure that I'd never get cancer, I tuned it out. Was I really sure that I would never get cancer or was that simply denial?

I'm learning many valuable lessons through this new challenge and I'm sure that I'll be able to help a lot more people in the medical arena as a result. And I do want to be of service. I feel it more strongly the older I get. I did finally reach a place where I could let go of the denial and gain a sense of peace with all this. I did not lose a breast, I ensured a long healthy life for myself. And, according to the pathology report, the cancer had not spread--so that healthy life is ensured!

Katherine Zimmerman, CA, is an IMDHA member. She will be presenting at the conference in October. email: [e-mail]