Youth must be served ... even on day one.

First-Day Demands

A new kindergarten student in Searcy, Ark., was eagerly anticipating her first day of school.

School was a way of life for her, however, because her grandfather was a superintendent in a nearby district, her grandmother was a retired teacher, her mother was a teacher in her school and her father was a technology consultant in the school district. To mark the first day of school in a special way, her parents decided to treat her to breakfast at her favorite fast-food restaurant.

For several minutes, which seemed like hours to an excited kindergarten child, she waited patiently in line. When it seemed like she would never have the opportunity to place her order, she firmly planted herself with hands on hips near the counter and declared: "I just want everyone to know that this is my first day of school, and if I am late, someone is going to be in big trouble!"

Needless to say, breakfast was quickly on its way.

Ordinary Like the Rest of 'Em

Setting: The Flanders School, Southington, Conn.

The Players: A kindergarten teacher and one of her students.

The Action: It's the day after Harvey Polansky, Southington's superintendent, had paid a brief visit to the classroom.

Dialogue: The pupil asks his teacher: "Who was that man?"

Teacher: "Well, you know how Mrs. Merrill is the principal, and she is my boss and the boss of the all the teachers. Dr. Polansky is the boss of all the principals, all the teachers and everyone who is in the schools. He is like a super boss, and the name of his job is the superintendent."

Student, raising his hand and asking in all seriousness: "Can he fly?"

The teacher spent the next few minutes explaining the difference between being a superintendent and being Superman.

Information Gathering

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, Melanie Smith, a communications coordinator with the Savannah-Chatham County, Ca., Public Schools, was putting together a story for local news media about the efforts of two schools to collect food, clothing, school supplies and money for those in need along the Gulf Coast.

As students were busy loading an American Red Cross bus with the donated items, Smith approached a 1st-grader whom she was told was an evacuee from the hurricane. She asked the girl a few questions.

"So," Smith said, "I'm Melanie. I work for all the schools in the big office downtown. I understand you're from New Orleans."

She nodded, hesitantly.

"So what does it mean to you to know some of these things could go back to New Orleans and help one of your neighbors?"

"Well," she paused, thoughtfully. "I think it's pretty good."

Realizing she was going to have to work hard for an interesting comment from the youngster, Smith prodded with a series of questions, finally asking her, "So what brought you to Savannah?"

Hands on her hips, and ever so matter-of-factly, she turned and said, "The hurricane, silly."

A Pig Pucker 

Principal Linda Cornigans of the Charles E. Walters Elementary School in Middle Island, N.Y., is good to her word.

After presenting a challenge to the school's 865 pupils to read 10,000 or more books, she promised to kiss a pig. They did and she did--in style.

Students dressed for the day in country-western garb. They also sang an original song, "Our Principal Will Kiss a Pig," written by a music teacher at Waiters Elementary for just this occasion.

Cornigans, meanwhile, prepared for the slobbery moment by introducing herself to the subject of her kiss, a young pig from the Suffolk County Farm in nearby Yaphank. Pictures of the meeting adorn the school hallway.

"He looks bigger in person," she said.

Not Included

After Kristen Williams, a 1st-grade teacher in Jordan, Utah, lost her engagement ring, one of her students figured he could comfort her by bringing her a new one from home. The ring came from a gumball machine.

Short humorous anecdotes, quips, quotations and malapropisms for this column relating to school district administration should be addressed to: Editor, The School Administrator, 801 N. Quincy St., Suite 700, Arlington, VA 22203. Fax: [phone]. E-mail: [e-mail]. Upon request, names may be withheld in print.