Your Sister The Goddess.

Sure, you love your sis. You swap clothes, love the same movies and occasionally keep dirt from the 'rents But why does she have to be so darn...perfect?

It's hard to compete with a superstar sister. Even Pretty Woman Julia Roberts has a tough time livin' up to the movie star standards of older sis Catherine Zeta-Jones in America's Sweethearts.

NO doubt about it, your sister's got it going on. Not that you want her to be a complete loser or anything, but does she have to get awesome grades, softball trophies up the whazoo and still be named Homecoming Queen? She's popular, she's class treasurer, she never puts lip gloss on weird and, to top it all off, she's so nice! Living with such a supernova is enough to make any girl feel like a troll.

While we're sure you wish Miss Perfect well, having a superstar sis can create some complicated issues. What's the best way to deal with sibling jealousy and your need for more attention? How do you handle the unfair expectations and comparisons? Believe it or not, you can find your own amazing strengths, get the support you need and get along with your sister!

WHY SHE DRIVES YOU CRAZY

It's natural to feel a little jealous--and, yes, even resentful--of someone whose road in life seems to be paved in platinum. Say your sis is popular because she's really talkative and can make conversation with anybody. Does that bother you? If so, why? Is it because you're not comfortable chatting with people you've just met? That's perfectly OK-- not everyone can be a chatty Cathy. Just because you can't get a crowd of guys hanging on your every word doesn't make you a loser with a capital "L." You don't have to be a carbon copy of your sister to make your mark in the world.

Sure she'll score big at certain things that you maybe won't, and you'll have mad skills at some stuff she might not be so great at. There could even be things you both rock at--like tennis star sisters Venus and Serena Williams.

Everyone wants to be special and have impressive talents. If you long to be the star of your family and it makes you resent your sister, here's some advice: Stop competing with her! Really smart, successful people focus on themselves--what they're good at and what they hope to achieve. They don't obsess over the accomplishments of others. Envy sucks up lots of energy, and you need to save your energy for more positive stuff. Plus, jealousy makes you an icky person to be around--so just don't go there, period.

THE PARENT TRAP

Maybe you aren't obsessed with comparing yourself to your sister, but it sure seems your parents are. They don't come right out and say it, but you worry that your super-sis is their secret fave. Maybe she gets special attention from your folks, like Mom drives her to ballet every day and never misses a recital. Or your dad seems a little too psyched that your sis has inherited his science skills and practically explodes with pride when she takes first place in the school chemistry fair. This could make you feel kind of lame, like second best.

It's doubtful that your folks are intentionally neglecting you. They're probably encouraging your sister's special abilities the best they can while, at the same time, trying not to put pressure on you. By saying nothing to you about your achievements, it can seem to you as if they couldn't care less. Then you feel bad, and they feel bad that you feel bad. It's just that they probably don't realize they're doing anything wrong.

Explain that you need their support as much as your sister does. Tell your folks specifically what would make you happier. Why not ask your mom or dad (or both) to go for a walk with you so you can chat. Try, "It would mean tons to me if you could make my swim meet on Tuesday night," instead of, "You only go to her softball games!" Chances are they'll back you up 100 percent.

Things can get stickier, though, if the 'rents do openly compare you to your sister. Mary Kate, 12, says, "My only problem with my sister is that she's a total perfectionist! She always studies for her tests three days ahead of time (I only study the night before), and she studies for her midterms and finals two weeks before them! My mom expects me to be like her, but I'm not trying to be a brainiac. I am smart, like I get A's and B's on everything, too, but my mom wants me to do better."

Your folks should balance how they treat you and your sister. If you want them to ease up on the comparisons, let them know. If Mom is pushing you to take up soccer just because your sister got into an Ivy League college for her prowess on the field, Mom's a little out of line. Sure, she wants both of her daughters to have the best opportunities, but let her know you have different interests than your sister. Your parents want what's best for you and, most likely, will be glad to hear what makes you happiest. Explain to them that when you're relaxed and confident, you tend to better accomplish things.

SIS SPECIFICS

Sticky sitches with a superstar sister could have a lot to do with something you might not even have thought of--your birth order. First, let's tackle dealing with an older sister. You probably idolized her when you were a tot. You tagged along behind her everywhere she went, wanted to wear her clothes and copy her hairstyle--you know, acted like a complete and total wannabe. Now that you've outgrown Gymboree, though, her goddesshood is driving you ga-ga, right?

In a case like this, your best bet is to be mature.., and patient. You're not ready for a midnight curfew on weekends, while your sis is old enough to handle that. Rather than whine about it, chill and wait things out. Don't resent your sis for having more freedom. Instead, learn from her. Hang with her next time she's getting ready for a big night out and ask about whatever makes you curious. How does she handle herself on a date? What does she talk to the guy about? What food is best to order to avoid stinky breath? You know, the crucial stuff! Let your sister fill you in. It's cool to listen to another person's experiences and be able to use that info later in your own life.

If you have trouble dealing with a glittering, glamorous, super-mature-for-her-age younger sister, well, that can present a bigger problem. It must seem like life is really out of whack. As the older sister, aren't you supposed to get a BF first? Here you just starred wearing a bra this year and, even though she's two years younger (but looks two years older), Mom is taking her out to buy her a 34C at Victoria's Secret this Saturday! Doesn't it bum you out that she's taller than you, gets better grades than you did at her age and has yet to get her first zit? Well, of course it does!

This is not to say your little sis is Out to get you. Highly unlikely since she can't control how quickly her body develops. Stop blaming her for things she can't control, and resolve to help her deal with the changes she is going through. Even though she may seem to have it all figured out, anyone who has lived through seventh grade knows it's not easy to look more like Buffy than Dawn. You're older and more experienced. Why not use these qualities to give your sis advice when she needs it- instead of just wanting to slam the door on any chance you two might have to empathize with each other.

YOU, YOURSELF & YOU

Once you've started to look at your super-sis sitch in a new light, it's time to turn your attention back to you, glorious you. You can have a life separate from your sister's. Say you love rhymes and think you'd like to pen some poetry. Great! Check some poetry books out of the library, and start noticing what makes a sonnet totally on it. If you're really interested in something, chances are you'll shine at it because you'll put time into mastering it.

Also, don't shy away from taking a stab at an activity your sib is stunning at just because you're afraid you won't be as stellar. If your sister is a medal- winning swimmer, don't feel like you should never dip a toe in the pool yourself. You simply need to be realistic with your expectations. You're trying something new. So, if you have a mean backstroke, cool. If not, it doesn't mean your sis rules and you're a zero. Remember, it's all about believing in yourself enough not to compete with her.

DON'T HATE YOUR SISTER

Make an effort to get past your differences. Positive moves will help you get closer with your sis. It won't kill you to compliment her new highlights. Give her congrats for winning that all-state spelling bee. Why not skip going to the mall with your buds one afternoon and, instead, grab some Oreos from the kitchen and ask if you can hang with her? Once you really open up to each other, you'll see you both have fears and dreams and lots more stuff in common than you ever imagined. It's not so important who "the star" is when you and your sister each have so much great stuff to offer.

Think positive thoughts about yourself...and your sister. Realize that you both have unique qualities--and that's cool. You should feel happy for your sister when she achieves something neat, and she should be happy for you. It's an amazing and groovy thing for one sib to be able to say about another, "Hey, that's my sister! Isn't she awesome?"

Twin Reeks

If you have a twin sister who is workin' that goddess thing, you're faced with Sweet Valley High Syndrome--and that's not fun. You look identical, except you're the half whose upper lip gets sweaty when a boy says "hi" to you. Meanwhile, she's going out with a Freddie Prinze Jr. lookalike. She's the cool one with all the friends, and you're the one spending Friday nights alone surfing the Web. She's the full-on version of you--or of the you that should exist. Or so you can't help but think.

This is a perfect example of unfairly comparing yourself to your sister. OK, we know that's really hard not to do in a twin situation. It can be really tough to remember this when the person you're measuring yourself against might look just like you. But you can make a few constructive changes to make things easier.

Maybe you and your sister have always dressed alike or gotten your hair cut the same way. Block your sister's style out of your mind for a sec. Now, think about which looks really appeal to you. How would you feel most comfortable wearing your hair? Trust your gut about your own likes and dislikes. Do the same thing with your wardrobe. If your sister is a bell-bottoms and crop-tops kind of a gal, try wearing dresses for a change. If you patent a style that's all your own, it helps people to see you as your own person.

Find activities you like, apart from automatically doing the same stuff as your sister. Be honest with yourself--want to sew your own clothes but never had The guts to give it a shot? By all means, go for it. It's wonderful to have a relationship as tight as twins can have. Don't let jealousy spoil that for you and your twin sis.