You, too, can overcome Internet ignorance.Byline: Jesse Thiessen 20Below News Team / The Register-Guard AS SOMEONE who spends a large amount of time surfing the Internet, I've developed a laundry list laundry list A popular term for a long list of Sx, diseases, or etiologies that share something in common–eg, differential diagnosis of acute abdomen of pet peeves. So, in an effort to offer a little preventive maintenance The routine checking of hardware that is performed by a field engineer on a regularly scheduled basis. See remedial maintenance. preventive maintenance - (PM) To bring down a machine for inspection or test purposes. See provocative maintenance, scratch monkey. for those of you who are just starting to explore the wonderful vacuum of the cyberworld, here are some handy tips to keep in mind: Be original with a screen name. "Bob2094252' is not only boring, but also one that a person cannot memorize mem·o·rize tr.v. mem·o·rized, mem·o·riz·ing, mem·o·riz·es 1. To commit to memory; learn by heart. 2. Computer Science To store in memory: if you wish to verbally tell them what your screen name is. What's the fun remedy? Invent a new word for your screen name. It's creative and mysterious - and you can drive people crazy as they try to guess what "Ligjik" means. Don't forward stupid chain e-mails. You will not receive $15 million in the mail from Bill Gates (person) Bill Gates - William Henry Gates III, Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft, which he co-founded in 1975 with Paul Allen. In 1994 Gates is a billionaire, worth $9.35b and Microsoft is worth about $27b. if you forward an e-mail to 60 of your friends. Nor will your true love throw themselves at you the day after. The Internet does not excuse you from the real world. Deal with it. Don't put music on your Web site. There's nothing more annoying than trying to navigate the Internet while hearing tinny tin·ny adj. tin·ni·er, tin·ni·est 1. Of, containing, or yielding tin. 2. Tasting or smelling of tin: tinny canned food. 3. little beep-beep music. If you're trying to listen to music yourself on the computer while doing this, it's doubly irritating. The last thing you need is to take one step closer to smashing your monitor with a hammer. When you instant-message someone and they don't respond, there's probably a reason. When someone doesn't immediately respond to an instant message, it does not mean they've dropped dead in their computer chair. Yes, it's possible they had to leave their computer for very undrastic reasons without informing you. Continue breathing. They might come back. Please, please, please spell words correctly. Seeing `2' in place of "to," `4' instead of "for," and of course, "ur" instead of "you're" gets annoying pretty quickly. I realize that people can be pressed for time when writing messages, but trying to decipher sophomoric soph·o·mor·ic adj. 1. Of or characteristic of a sophomore. 2. Exhibiting great immaturity and lack of judgment: sophomoric behavior. text is frustrating frus·trate tr.v. frus·trat·ed, frus·trat·ing, frus·trates 1. a. To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire; thwart: . Following these simple guidelines will make Internet life more pleasurable for you and your fellow Web surfers. You'll be respected and held in awe. And if you believe that, I have some e-mail forwards to send to you. Jesse Thiessen is a freshman at Sheldon High. He can be reached by e-mail at 20Below@guardnet.com. |
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