Yoda.One summer day my neighbor to the one side tells me that the daughter of the neighbor to the other side is pregnant. Oh, I say, and my heart goes right out to the daughter. She's maybe 16, this kid, as sweet and gentle a girl as you'd ever want to meet. Quiet but quick and diligent around the house and yard. Smart as a whip Adj. 1. smart as a whip - having or marked by unusual and impressive intelligence; "some men dislike brainy women"; "a brilliant mind"; "a brilliant solution to the problem" brainy, brilliant . Takes classes at the community college already. A great kid. Not averse to helping me carry grocery bags of prune prune, popular name for a dried plum. Fruits of the many varieties of Prunus domestica, which are firm-fleshed and dry easily without removal of the stone, are gathered after falling from the tree, dipped in lye solution to prevent fermentation, dried in the the fruit trees and such when she sees I am having trouble doing stuff now that I'm old. I don't see much of the daughter in the next few days; she stays inside the house, doesn't work in her garden like usual, and her boyfriend doesn't come around anymore. It's not like I am especially close to this kid. I am not even fully sure of her name, which is either Laura or Laurie. I missed her name the first time she mentioned it, when she and her mom moved in next door a while ago, and when people talk about her they don't pronounce the ending of her name clearly enough for me, and now it's too late to just ask her name. I'd look like I am getting senile senile /se·nile/ (se´nil) pertaining to old age; manifesting senility. se·nile adj. 1. Relating to, characteristic of, or resulting from old age. 2. , and I am a little touchy about looking like I am getting senile, because I think maybe I am getting senile, so there you are. I see her at the mailbox a couple of times in the next weeks, and one time I meet her by the mailbox, and she smiles and I smile, but neither of us says anything, and she hustles home with the mail. She doesn't look too pregnant to me, but what do I know? Things go on this way for a while and by the holidays she swells up and there's no question she's pregnant. I watch her getting the mail. We all live on a steep hill Steep Hill is a popular tourist street in the historic city of Lincoln, UK. At the top of the hill you will find the entrance to the Cathedral and at the bottom is Well Lane. The Hill consists of independent shops, tea rooms and pubs. and I see her working harder and harder to get back up the hill with the mail. Pretty soon it's spring and I am out in the garden most of the day. I may be getting old and senile but the knees and back and arras Arras (äräs`), city (1990 pop. 42,715), capital of Pas-de-Calais dept., and historic capital of Artois, N France, on the canalized Scarpe River. still work pretty well and I like growing things. I take a certain pride in my garden, which is carefully plotted out and very productive. I have stuff growing there all year long. You can do that here because even though it rains all winter it never freezes, so I can keep turnips and potatoes and chard chard: see artichoke; beet. chard or Swiss chard Edible-leaf beet (Beta vulgaris, variety cicla), a variety of beet in which the tender leaves and leafstalks have become greatly developed. and kale kale, borecole (bôr`kōl), and collards, common names for nonheading, hardy types of cabbage (var. going right through the winter. The rest of the year I have beans, blueberries, carrots, garlic, onions, peas, peppers, radishes, raspberries, rosemary, squashes, strawberries, tomatoes, and thyme thyme (tīm), any species of the genus Thymus, aromatic herbs or shrubby plants of the family Labiatae (mint family). The common thyme, which is used as a seasoning herb and yields a medicinal essential oil containing thymol, is the Old World . Along the fence between my house and the girl's house I have fruit--an apple tree, a pear, a fig, and some grapevines. Pruning pruning, the horticultural practice of cutting away an unwanted, unnecessary, or undesirable plant part, used most often on trees, shrubs, hedges, and woody vines. the trees and vines is where she's been a real help to me, because she was deft with those shears, and she was studying botany botany, science devoted to the study of plants. Botany, microbiology, and zoology together compose the science of biology. Humanity's earliest concern with plants was with their practical uses, i.e., for fuel, clothing, shelter, and, particularly, food and drugs. and stuff at the college, so she was actually interested in the way things grew and all, and it used to be that she was tireless, and one hour of her pruning was worth 10 hours of me pruning because she was made of rubber and never got tired. But now she's not made of rubber, and one day when I am out there pruning she walks out slowly and leans on the fence and apologizes for not helping. Hey, no problem, I say. I feel like I let you down, she says. No no, I say. I'm not in a condition to be much help. How you feeling? I say. Heavy, she says. When are you due? I say. Good Friday Good Friday, anniversary of Jesus' death on the cross. According to the Gospels, Jesus was put to death on the Friday before Easter Day. Since the early church Good Friday has been observed by fasting and penance. , she says. Can you believe it? Of all the days to have a baby. That's the saddest, darkest day of the year. I am no particular religion but I know enough of the Christian thing to know what she's talking about. Maybe you can keep the baby inside you for a couple days and give birth on Easter, I say. That'd be something, she says. That'd sure be something, I say. I'll help you again when I'm in better shape, she says. That'd be great, I say, and she walks slowly back to her house. The older I get the less I sleep, and on Good Friday I am up before dawn. I make coffee and go out in the garden to watch the sun come up. There's a place there where the angle of the fence is such that no one in the houses or the street can see you. As soon as I get to the fence, though, I notice loose dirt, and I get a bad feeling. I dig into Verb 1. dig into - examine physically with or as if with a probe; "probe an anthill" poke into, probe penetrate, perforate - pass into or through, often by overcoming resistance; "The bullet penetrated her chest" the dirt and feel a tiny foot the size of my thumb, so I dig like crazy and get the baby out in about three seconds. It's all muddy but still breathing, I can tell from the tiny chest going up and down, so I stuff it in my shirt and walk quick into my house and wash it off in the sink. And there I am with a baby the size of a bird. I wrap it in a towel, and it looks at me but it doesn't cry. It's a boy. I get all rattled for a little while there and have to sit down. The thing is so little you wouldn't believe it. It's about as big as a cup of coffee. It looks like Yoda in those Star Wars movies, to tell you the truth. I take it into the bedroom and lay it on the bed and wrap more towels around it because someplace some·place adv. & n. Somewhere: "I didn't care where I was from so long as it was someplace else" Garrison Keillor. See Usage Note at everyplace. I read that newborns get really cold really fast, which makes sense because they have been in the wet oven for a long time, and being born must be an awful shock. Not to mention getting buried there by the fence. I don't know Don't know (DK, DKed) "Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party. much about this all, because I never got married, and while I have a lot of nieces and nephews, and I really like kids, I don't really know anything about them technically. So I was in a pickle pickle, general term for fruits or vegetables preserved in vinegar or brine, usually with spices or sugar or both. Vegetables commonly pickled include the beet, cabbage, cauliflower, cucumber, olive, onion, pepper, and tomato. . But men are not as stupid and helpless as movies and television shows make us out to be. I mean, I was in two wars, I worked in the woods, I live alone, I can figure things out, so we figured things out, Yoda and me. We figured out that he could suck hot milk off the end of a moist towel, which he really liked, and we figured out that he liked to sleep a lot, and we figured out that he slept best when I put him back in my shirt and rocked in the rocking chair. He really liked that. The only time he really cried like he meant it was when we got up out of the rocking chair. He didn't like that and he cried hard, but he was so little that him crying hard wasn't much sound at all. I didn't tell him that because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, you know, but he sounded like a toy teapot. Plus as soon as he commenced to cry I gave him the milk towel again and that was that. He sure liked that milk towel. Friday went by right quick, Yoda and me sleeping that night in the rocking chair, and Saturday was dusking by the time I made up my mind what to do. We spent another night in the rocking chair, Yoda and me, and then before dawn I gave him another bath in the sink, which he liked, and wrapped him up tight in a towel, and gave him a huge dose of the milk towel, which knocked him out cold, and then I watched out the window for the girl next door getting the Sunday newspaper. Soon as she went by my house, walking gingerly gin·ger·ly adv. With great care or delicacy; cautiously. adj. Cautious; careful. [Possibly alteration of obsolete French gensor, delicate , I whipped out to the fence with Yoda in my shirt and waited on her. When she came back up the hill she came over to the fence to say hi, and I worked her over to the place where the angle of the fence is such that no one in the houses or the street can see you and I pulled old Yoda out of my shirt. Look what I found, I say. She doesn't say anything but her eyes are all wild. He really likes sucking hot milk off a towel, I say. She doesn't say anything. And he likes warm baths, I say. She reaches over the fence for him and I hand him over and she pulls him in to her chest with a sound in her throat you couldn't describe if you had a year. Thank you, she says very quiet. No problem, I say, very quiet. We stand there for a minute, all three of us, and then she goes back to her house with Yoda and I pretend to examine the grapevines in case her mom is watching, and then I go make some coffee and come back out and sit by the fence and watch the sun come up full power. Then I get back to work in the garden because there is an awful lot to be done and spring is most definitely sprung. BRIAN DOYLE
Brian J. Doyle (born April 7, 1950) was the deputy press secretary for the United States Department of Homeland Security. is the editor of Portland Magazine Portland Magazine is an award-winning monthly magazine based in Maine. Founded in October of 1985 by Sargent Publishing, Inc., it has featured world-renowned writers such as Pulitzer Prize winner Lewis Simpson, and writers Frederick Barthelme, Jason Brown, C.D.B. at the University of Portland The University of Portland (UP) is a private Catholic university located in Portland, Oregon. It is specifically affiliated with the Congregation of Holy Cross and is the sister school of the University of Notre Dame. Founded in 1901, UP has a student body of about 3,200 students. . He is the author of four collections of essays, most recently Leaping: Revelations & Epiphanies (Loyola Press, 2003), and the editor of God Is Love, a collection of the best spiritual essays from Portland Magazine (Augsburg, 2002). |
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