YOU AND 'THE EX': IT'S NO MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.

Byline: Evan Henerson

Staff Writer

First the barometer of how idiotic and desperate a summer comedy must be:

In "The Ex," Tom Riley, a henpecked chef-turned-ad executive played by Zach Braff, gets dusted by a pork chop; a shot to the side of the face by a snowboard (that's gotta hurt!); assorted bangs and smacks during a wheelchair basketball match; some bug spray to the face; and a jab or two to the groin. By the time Tom dodges some radio

controlled trucks only to take his $1,200 mountain bike over the hood of a parked car, the mayhem tally has spontaneously combusted.

That's a lot of humiliation that the persecuted -- and fully justified -- hero undergoes in a mere 89 minutes, and we haven't even touched the guy's brain lapses. In "The Ex," Tom's humiliation trumps our own in seeing it, but not by much. And the real shame here is that Braff has grown so accustomed to wearing egg on his puss in "Scrubs" that it's starting to look good on him. How far distant Braff's writing/directing and sensitive starring turn in "Garden State" seems now.

Here, Zach's Tom is a good-

hearted, slightly doofussy guy married to hotshot New York City lawyer Sofia (Amanda Peet). She has their baby and elects to be a stay-at-home mom. He quickly loses his chef's job, and, at the behest of his father-in-law, Bob (Charles Grodin, in his first film role in 12 years), moves the family to Ohio and accepts a job at Bob's ad agency.

Well and good. Except Tom's supervisor, Chip Sanders (Jason Bateman), is the wheelchair-dependent former high-school flame of Sofia. For reasons that don't make a great deal of sense, Chip wants to take Tom down every which way from Sunday. Also, there are a lot of penis jokes. Hey, every summer comedy needs a few, right?

Because the filmmakers don't want to waste Peet's comic and romantic leading-lady potential (which is still pretty strong), they have to throw a few surmountable wedges into the marriage. Mommyhood isn't the blissed-out experience Sofia expects it to be. Plus, Tom is either screwing up royally at work or coming home and causing trouble with the kid next door (Lucian Maisel). Husband and wife end up smacking each other with foam bats.

Bateman, who played a good guy on "Arrested Development," proves rather easy to despise, especially once his malevolence loses its comic edge. Rather than risking the wrath of the disabled community, director Jesse Peretz ("The Chateau") and the writers take a rather wimpy way out, plot wise, to bring this baby home.

It's nice to see Grodin back on screen, turning his wry and dry gaze toward whale screen-

savers ("I name them") and imaginary balls that get passed around in the name of office morale. Take Chip out of the equation, and "The Ex" is a new spin on "Meet the Parents." That's not really Grodin's bag, although it might have given Mia Farrow as his wife something to do besides holding the baby.

Come to think of it, why wasn't it Ben Stiller taking all the shots and bruises? Here's guessing he had the good sense to shun this "Ex." Wise audiences will do likewise.

Evan Henerson, [phone]

[e-mail]

THE EX - Two stars

(PG-13: sexual content, brief language and a drug reference)

Starring: Zach Braff, Amanda Peet, Jason Bateman, Charles Grodin.

Director: Jesse Peretz.

Running time: 1 hr. 29 min.

Playing: In wide release.

In a nutshell: See Zach Braff injured and humiliated.

CAPTION(S):

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Photo:

Zach Braff endures no end of humiliation in the course of true love with Amanda Peet in the summer comedy "The Ex."