YOU'LL WISH THIS 'GIRL' HAD MINDED HER OWN BUSINESS.

Byline: Glenn Whipp Film Critic

HOLLYWOOD believes every generation of adolescent boys must be given a fantasy film about one of its own scoring big with a sexually experienced older woman. But I'm guessing our current crop of media-savvy youngsters will have seen ``Risky Business,'' thus rendering up-and-comer ``The Girl Next Door'' redundant at best, a rip-off at worst.

In fact, ``Girl'' so slavishly apes its predecessor - without, of course, most of its strong points - that I figured there would be some kind of ``based-on'' screenplay credit at the end of the movie. Paul Brickman (``Risky Business'' writer-director) certainly deserves some restitution.

Come to think of it, so does any other adult who wanders in, unknowingly, to this movie. Having said that, it should be noted that teen boys probably will surrender their hormones willingly to all the slow-motion shots of Elisha Cuthbert (``24'') playing the title character, a cuddly former porn star who captures the heart of Matthew (Emile Hirsch), a high-school high achiever.

Again, if you've seen ``Risky Business,'' you know the plot and you know how it will end. Joel, er, Matthew has spent so much time trying to get into Princeton, er, Georgetown that he hasn't sucked the marrow of life (or read any Thoreau for that matter). Enter Danielle, blond, beautiful, generous (she undresses with the window open), exciting. She's house-sitting. He's horny. Soon, young Matthew is cutting class and acting just plain crazy, although the old-time rock 'n' roll features the James Gang, not Bob Seger.

And then ... the revelation. Danielle used to be in pictures. And she has a killer pimp, er, volatile producer (Tim Olyphant) named Guido, er, Kelly, who's none too happy that she's quit the business and taken up with this all-American innocent from the suburbs who fills her with dangerous ideas like, ``I know who you are and you're better than this.''

It's interesting that Matthew knows who Danielle is because we sure don't. As written, she's merely a fantasy figure, a damsel in distress for our heroic geek to save and thus empower all those powerless adolescent boys in the audience who don't get to go to the prom with a porn star. The girls have their princess movies, the boys their visits to the Traci Lords Tutoring School, with Cuthbert's porn star making Julia Roberts' ``Pretty Woman'' look like a filthy degenerate by comparison.

Which is precisely the point. Despite the energizing presence of Olyphant, who provides the film a measure of energy and edge, ``The Girl Next Door'' is all about sex without the risky business. As such, it's perfect for Maxim magazine subscribers, and an airbrushed, empty-headed bore for everybody else. Kids deserve better, and you can take that any way you want.

Glenn Whipp, [phone]

glenn.whipp(at)dailynews.com

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR - Two stars

(R: strong sexual content, language, some drug/alcohol use)

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, Tim Olyphant.

Director: Luke Greenfield.

Running time: 1 hr. 48 min.

Playing: Wide release.

In a nutshell: ``Risky Business'' without the risks or the charms.