YO, WE GOT YOUR SUPA BOWL; JETS-GIANTS TITLE GAME WOULD GIVE NEW YORKERS MORE FODDER.

Byline: NORMAN CHAD The NFL 

Along the sidewalks of New York, there is talk of a subway Super Bowl. Actually, that would be along the toll roads of New Jersey, there is talk of a turnpike Super Bowl.

The New York Giants and the New York Jets - a k a ``New Jersey's Finest'' - could meet in Super Bowl XXXII next month, provided the Jets slip into the playoffs this weekend, then both teams win three times each in the postseason.

This is the most excitement we've seen at the Vince Lombardi Rest Stop since they installed hand dryers in the bathrooms.

For the rest of the country, well, I don't think ``excitement'' is the word that comes to mind.

A Jets-Giants Super Bowl would be the football equivalent to a Dan Quayle-Al Gore presidential race.

Still, it could happen, and officials must brace for the blow. Just think, if 50,000 Big Apple/Garden State faithful go westward for the game, for one week nearly every car in San Diego will run a red light or honk in traffic. Plus, if lots of Jets and Giants season-ticket holders make it to Qualcomm Stadium, it will be the first Super Bowl with last call.

Anyway, we must credit the relentlessly dreary Jets, with Neil O'Donnell and Glenn Foley at quarterback, and the relentlessly dreadful Giants, with Dave Brown and Danny Kanell at quarterback, for their remarkable seasons. The 9-6 Jets and 9-5-1 Giants simply don't match up well with the likes of, say, the Steelers or Packers; frankly, the Jets or Giants wouldn't seem to match up well against the kitchen help of most diners.

This is how stunning the Miracle-at-The Meadowlands is: Bill Parcells may get the Jets to the playoffs one year after they finished 1-15 and he's not even coach of the year in his own stadium.

(Yo, Jim Fassel: Enjoy it while you can. Dan Reeves went 11-5 his first year with the Giants, then was offered the Jimmy Hoffa suite at the swamp three seasons later. From Broadway to Bergen County, it's ``Chicken today, feathers tomorrow.'')

(Speaking of which, many readers have pointed out that last month The Man wrote: ``If the Giants win the NFC East, I will swim the Hudson River buck-naked from Fort Lee to Tarrytown while carrying Harry from Hackensack on my back.'' Folks, to be honest - one, I cannot swim and two, several public decency laws likely would be violated if I were publicly ``buck-naked,'' not to mention that I don't even take off all my clothes when I'm in the shower. So, let me just apologize for my mistake and acknowledge my stupidity - and if I ever see Harry from Hackensack, the next cheeseburger deluxe is on me!)

This weekend, I'll take the Jets and seven points in Detroit, to keep alive my hope of a surreal Super Bowl, but I'll take the Cowboys giving three points in Dallas against the Giants, to keep alive my belief that this team cannot possibly be a division champion.

(Holiday Note: Why is it that we see plenty of fans coming to games in Santa hats, but nobody shows up with a festive goalpost menorah?)

(TV Note: Disney-owned ABC rumored to be interested in John Madden. But not for ``Monday Night Football'' - for Disneyland's ``Country Bear Jamboree.'') As always, all point-spread picks should not be used as the basis for any actual cash wager:

Jaguars (-3-1/2) at Raiders: If Al Davis were running a 7-Eleven, it would close by 10:30 each night . . . Raiders' Cole Ford is 3 for 4 on field goals inside the 30, 6 for 8 inside the 40 and 0 for 3 inside ``El Nino.'' Pick: Jaguars.

Saints at Chiefs (-7-1/2): Yes, Rich Gannon-led Chiefs have outscored their last three opponents by 103-16. But Billy Joe Hobert-crazed Saints have outscored their last two opponents by 54-44. Pick: Saints.

Falcons (-1-1/2) at Cardinals: Playing at Sun Devil Stadium is the Bermuda Triangle of the NFL: It's never sold out, it's never seen anywhere and there's no trace of you afterward. Pick: Cardinals.

Ravens at Bengals (-6-1/2): Sure, he's hot again, but until ``Boomer'' Esiason acknowledges his given name - Norman - I'm rooting against him. Pick: Ravens.

49ers (-3) at Seahawks: 49ers players love Eddie DeBartolo to death, but they're tired of having to go to ``casino cage'' to cash their paychecks. Pick: 49ers.

Colts at Vikings (-7): Magnetic resonance imaging test on Vikings LB Jeff Brady's neck revealed he actually had a magnet in his neck. Pick: Colts.

Bears at Buccaneers (-8): Who's playoff-bound? My Bucs. Who's Pro Bowl-bound? Trent ``T.D.'' Dilfer. The Man hasn't lost it! Pick: Buccaneers.

Chargers at Broncos (-13): If you put Broncos LB Bill Romanowski in an isolation tank, he'd just hit himself late. Pick: Broncos.

Patriots at Dolphins (-3): It was the least of their worries, but last Sunday Dolphins' Internet server was down. Pick: Dolphins.

Steelers at Oilers (-2-1/2): First 5,000 fans arriving to Liberty Bowl will be asked to go out and bring back 5,000 more fans. Pick: Steelers.

Eagles at Redskins (-6): Latest puzzling problem holding back Redskins offense: Flying manhole covers. Pick: Eagles.

Last week: 8-6-1.

Season record: 109-107-7.

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Photo

Photo: Denver linebacker Bill Romanowski, who's $7,500 lighter in the wallet for spitting on San Francisco's J.J. Stokes last Monday, might want to spend some time in the isolation tank.

Associated Press