YIKES! NOW WHAT? WHEN THAT SHARK BITES WITH ITS TEETH, DEAR, HERE'S HOW TO SURVIVE.Byline: Phil Davis
You're falling at 120 mph, terminal velocity terminal velocity Noun Physics the maximum velocity reached by a body falling under gravity through a liquid or gas, esp. the atmosphere Noun 1. . No parachute. No reserve. There's only one chance to turn this thing around - ``The Worst-Case Survival Scenario Handbook,'' a witty how-to manual for the doomed, the unlucky and the just plain stupid. The capital letters on Page 137 are reassuring: ``HOW TO SURVIVE IF YOUR PARACHUTE DOESN'T OPEN.'' Follow steps one through six, and ... ... Splat. It might have helped to memorize the steps before putting on a parachute. ``Um,'' says Hollywood stuntman stunt·man n. A man who substitutes for a performer in scenes requiring physical daring or involving physical risk. stuntman n → especialista m stuntman Joe Jennings, a veteran jumper who helped authors David Borgenicht and Joshua Piven write the failed parachute scenario. He hesitates, then chuckles. ``You might think to yourself, `At least I read a good book in my life.' '' ``The Worst-Case Scenario worst-case scenario n → Schlimmstfallszenario nt Survival Handbook'' (Chronicle Books; $14.95), is a funny and, yes, possibly even a helpful book. All the advice in it was compiled in detailed interviews with experts in specific dire straits Noun 1. dire straits - a state of extreme distress desperate straits straits, strait, pass - a bad or difficult situation or state of affairs , from emergency childbirth to jumping from a five-story building into a dumpster. Maybe it will help you walk on top of a train, jump from a moving motorcycle to a car or win a swordfight. Maybe not. ``The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook'' comes with no guarantees, only a warning (``DO NOT ATTEMPT TO UNDERTAKE ANY OF THE ACTIVITIES DESCRIBED IN THE BOOK'') and a disclaimer (``THE PUBLISHER, AUTHORS AND EXPERTS DISCLAIM ANY LIABILITY''). ``The information is all totally real,'' Borgenicht said. ``Sure, the concept is a little off. The odds you'd actually need to know how to wrestle an alligator alligator, large aquatic reptile of the genus Alligator, in the same order as the crocodile. There are two species—a large type found in the S United States and a small type found in E China. Alligators differ from crocodiles in several ways. and how to jump from a building into a dumpster and how to treat frostbite frostbite (chilblains), injury to the tissue caused by exposure to cold, usually affecting the extremities of the body, such as the hands, feet, ears, or nose. Extreme cold causes the small blood vessels in the extremities to constrict. and perform a tracheotomy tracheotomy (trākēŏt`əmē), surgical incision into the trachea, or windpipe. The operation is performed when the windpipe has become blocked, e.g., by the presence of some foreign object or by swelling of the larynx. and fend off a shark are minimal. The odds you'd need to even know one of those things is minimal, so it's definitely more of an armchair entertainment book than a serious survival guide. ``But who knows?'' he said. ``It could save your life.'' Two recent fatal sword attacks in England might have turned out differently had the victims been familiar with Page 66 of the Worst-Case book. A poor elderly woman in Florida might be celebrating another birthday had she only known to thump the snout snout the upper lip and the apex of the nose, especially of the pig. Called also rostrum. Has a specialized skin to survive the rigors of rooting, is supported by a separate bone (the os rostri), and also has a few sensory hairs. of the alligator (page 57) that dragged her into Lake Serenity in Florida in 1993. And everyone needs to know how to dodge gunfire (page 143) these days. Danger is everywhere. Both Borgenicht, 31, and Piven, 28, are mild-mannered writers from Philadelphia whose most risky excursions are driving or sharpening a pencil. The book was conceived in a mix of paranoia, fear and popular culture. ``It was probably inspired as much by Indiana Jones and `The A-Team` and `Die Hard' as anything else,'' Borgenicht said. ``Having spent years watching our action heroes get into and out of these horrible, life- threatening situations, it made us wonder what regular folk could do in those situations if we didn't have the benefit of stunt people and trick photography trick photography trick n → Trickfotografie f and cutaway shots. So we decided to find out.'' They tracked down experts from Mountain Mel, a former U.S. Navy SEAL who told them how to make a fire without matches, to Chris Caso, a former UCLA UCLA University of California at Los Angeles UCLA University Center for Learning Assistance (Illinois State University) UCLA University of Carrollton, TX and Lower Addison, TX gymnast-turned-stuntman whose high-fall credits include ``Batman Forever'' and ``The Lost World.'' ``They got everything right,'' said Caso, who shared jumping techniques for perilous leaps into water or a dumpster. He said reading the book's jumping chapters won't give you a stuntman's ``air sense,'' but it might help prevent a few broken bones. Jennings also liked the book. He said his parachute failure response is far from foolproof, but in a situation where all other options are exhausted - why not? ``It's not like I would put this out as something to go out and try, that's for sure,'' he said. ``But it's not impossible. Getting to another person is a piece of cake. Two people under one chute, depending on your weight, is another story. It could get ugly.'' The bottom line: In most of the worst-case scenarios, the odds of limping off with your lover like Bruce Willis in ``Die Hard'' are pretty slim. Think ambulance. The advice ``can save your life,'' Borgenicht said. ``But it may also result in some sort of bodily injury.'' Neither Borgenicht nor Piven is rushing out to try out these tips. They are working on a Worst-Case calendar and a book sequel. And - who knows? - if the price is right, they might just take on an alligator or a shark. ``We haven't actually tried too many of the scenarios,'' Borgenicht said, ``but if the Fox networks wants to offer us a TV deal to try it, we'll be happy to.'' CAPTION(S): 2 photos Photo: (1 -- 2) A great white shark great white shark or white shark Large, aggressive shark (Carcharodon carcharias, family Lamnidae), considered the species most dangerous to humans. It is found in tropical and temperate regions of all oceans and is noted for its voracious appetite. trolls for prey, while an alligator attacks, raising the question: Could you survive? |
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