YELLERS SHOULD BE PUT IN CHECK.

Byline: KEN LLOYD On the Job

Q I admit that I can be a screamer when I manage, especially when my people do something wrong, but they understand that this is part of my personality and they can deal with it. They like me, and I always apologize after I ``lose it.'' I am annoyed that my boss wants me to go to some anger management sessions. I don't think they're meant for people like me. What do you think? A.T.

A It is rather ironic that you are angry because your company wants you to attend some anger management classes. If you are screaming at your employees, your behavior is actually screaming for these classes. You are very fortunate that your own manager recognizes the problem and is offering this opportunity to you.

Your employees may indeed like you, and they probably appreciate your apologies after you explode, but there is no way that they like your enraged behaviors. If anything, such behaviors are generating significant levels of stress, fear and nervousness among your staff, while at the same time undercutting productivity, motivation, satisfaction and morale.

The fact that your employees have not said anything to you about this behavior is probably the result of their fear that such comments will throw you back into a screaming mode. To think otherwise is little more than denial.

Anger management classes can help you build some mechanisms to handle your anger and channel it productively, and can help you become a better manager and person. If you don't take advantage of this opportunity, you will most likely look back one day and be angry at yourself.

Q We report to a manager who always knows just the right thing to say. When problems develop, he calms us down and makes statements that sound like everything is going to turn out fine. The only problem is that he is merely placating us, because he never takes care of whatever it was that got us upset in the first place. What's the best way to deal with him? M.K.

A Managers who have the ability to say just the right thing to calm the group down, but do nothing to deal with the real issues, are typically known in the trade as ``slick.'' Their veneer is well-polished, as is the ability to sway the group.

These managers usually have a good deal of charisma. And, by using a charming and disarming style, many days can pass before the employees realize that this individual's words speak louder than his actions.

One of the more effective ways to deal with a manager who is smooth around the edges is to try to turn his generalities into specifics. When you and your associates are concerned about a specific problem and your manager provides a high-gloss response, you should respond with some questions, particularly those that start with what, where, when and how.

The idea behind this approach is not to challenge your manager, but to try to turn his generalities into specifics. He will probably swing into super-gloss mode and ask you how the problem should be solved. You should be ready with a polished response.

Q Five of us work in a satellite office, and we are rarely included in any of the social events in the home office that is only about 20 minutes away. We have asked to be included at birthdays, retirements and such, but we are usually forgotten. How do we get them to remember us? P.B.

A People are familiar with the expression, ``Gone, but not forgotten,'' while your department seems to be forgotten, but not gone. If you want to be on the A-list for these corporate social events, you will need to take some proactive steps.

For example, rather than asking to be included at these events, you should contact whoever is coordinating them and ask for an advance listing for a specific period, such as the coming month. You should also encourage this individual to send out a global e-mail to all employees who might be interested in attending.

At the same time, you should be careful about wishing to be included, as there are many employees who quickly tire of being on the guest list. Some feel that the gatherings are a frequent interruption, but they attend because it is politically correct to do so. Others are also concerned about their own consumption of cake and goodies at these gatherings, particularly if this is happening several times a month.

You should not have any difficulty getting yourself invited to these parties. And, if the caloric demands start to get to you, perhaps you should remember some famous historical advice and let them eat cake.