Worth the wait: when our prayers seem to go unanswered, we must trust as the wise bridesmaids did, and keep the light on for God. (testaments).

MY SISTER EVELYN WAITED A LONG TIME BEFORE she met the man she would marry. Gosh, she was darn near the end of her life--over 30 for goodness sake--and still single. It was dreadful, especially for those of us who had to listen to her bewail her isolation.

And being single was bad enough; having to date was the thing that almost killed her. All those men, all those dreary evenings listening to the exploits of the clearly unsuitable. You think it was bad for her? I'm talking about what it was like for me.

Evie had a knack for soliciting the attention of men who happened to be criminals. Now, I'm not saying criminals don't need love too, but this is my baby sister we're talking about. I was hoping she would meet a nice UPS man and settle down. But instead she kept running into men with rap sheets as long as her lonely arms. Sure, these guys were working on their addictions, cooperating fully with their parole officers. But they weren't exactly the sort of men I envisioned as my brothers-in-law. As her early 30s came and went, Evie fell into a bit of a depression, and it seemed that the posse would never ride into town to save the day. My only comfort was that she didn't actually go ahead and marry one of these fellows in between court dates. She remained unhappily and resolutely unwed.

Until Chris came along, that is. I would say Chris was the generation X equivalent of Prince Charming, Mr. Right, and Alan Alda all in one package. I mean, this guy was a dream come true for my sister. First of all, he had never gotten so much as a speeding ticket. Second, he had a job, his own apartment, and was able to bathe, feed, and support himself. To top it off, he was sweet as honey, redheaded cute, smart, and had a wonderful sense of humor. Plus good taste when it came to film literature. I thought he would make a very suitable brother-in-law indeed. And so they were married.

Three cheers for Chris, obviously. But three cheers also for Evelyn, who waited for him, not giving up hope even when there appeared to be none, not settling for less than happiness, believing in love in the midst of loneliness. She kept the light on for the man she wanted and the life she felt called to, and all of her desires came to pass.

All good things come to those who wait. This is a lesson frequently pounded home in scripture. But we live in an impatient culture, when messaging happens instantly, global news is immediately local, and everything short of dental care is available online at your desk. Fast food and microwaves for life in the fast lane! Who waits anymore, for anything?

Yet we have this dichotomy of patient figures alongside us in salvation history, trusting in children yet to be conceived, in prophecies that seem wildly unrealistic, in promised lands they cannot see. They trusted in a God who often seemed distant from their present circumstances as they trudged across barren deserts or lamented far from home in exile. They are remarkable to us because we have lost the art of waiting. We see it as an inconvenience not to be tolerated. If God is going to save us, he or she better get on with it or we'll be contracting with another service. We may even sue for breach of promise!

WHAT MAY BE MOST AMAZING THROUGH GENERATIONS OF Bible stories about a nation anticipating its savior are those that concern the women who wait. In a small and backwater people like the ancient Hebrews, women may have been the most insignificant folks of all.

They didn't have much to wait for. They couldn't anticipate the changes of future centuries that would enhance the status of women through education, equal rights, and opportunities. The best they could hope for was that their fathers could come up with the dowry so they would be "worth" marrying. Unlike my sister, who owned her own home, had a career, and was simply looking for companionship, a woman of ancient Israel knew that a man would always be in charge of her fate: first her father, then her husband, and later--if she lived that long--her son.

In fact, having that son became a singular goal in the life of a biblical woman. What if she had only daughters? What if she had no children at all? Her husband could divorce her with a simple note, sending her home in disgrace to her father's house--if he would take her. What good was a woman who had already "known" a man? It would take a steep dowry for anyone to take her off her father's hands a second time.

So biblical women prayed for a good husband who would not beat them, who would give them a male child, and who would ensure their survival, never mind their happiness. It was not much to look forward to, but it was far better than the alternatives: prostitution, begging, starvation.

We are flabbergasted, then, to consider the women like Sarah, wife of Abraham, or Hannah, mother of the prophet Samuel, who trusted in God's promise to bring forth children from them.

Sarah was far beyond childbearing years, and Abraham kept her around for a childless half-century, we must assume, because he genuinely liked her. Hannah was apparently barren; her husband's other wife had no problem conceiving by him. Yet both women believed, against all the evidence, that if God said they would be mothers, then they would be. And so they were. And so too were elderly Elizabeth and young virgin Mary of later generations. God's promises, it would seem, are worth the wait.

Jesus appreciated the power of a good image, and so he told a parable about waiting women. Ten virgins are keeping vigil for a single bridegroom. Five of them instinctively know the wait may be long and they come prepared. Five are foolish and are not ready for the extended vigil. The wise ones enter the wedding feast, and the unprepared hear the chilling reply: "Amen, I say to you, I do not know you." Not to be "known" by the groom is about the worst thing a woman of ancient Israel might imagine. No groom meant no child and no future. The moral of the story was clear: If you want to receive the hope of the future, you must be ready to wait on it.

OF COURSE THE STORY IS NOT ABOUT EARTHLY MARRIAGES and children but the fruits of the reign of God. Keeping vigil for God's reign is as personal, intimate, essential, and fulfilling as the woman who waits on the hope of the womb. It requires perseverance and preparation, and keeping the light on for a future that may seem impossible or far away.

When my sister was a magnet for men with troubled lives, it was hard to conceive of a day when she would be the partner of a wonderful man who helps her with the household chores and even changes dirty diapers (he really does). But all the while that things looked bleak and my sister's nights were sad and solitary, her best friend and love of her life was already out there, making his way in her direction. All she had to do was be patient and believe.

As we near the end of the church year, we hear the promises of a day that is coming, though we cannot mark it on our calendars as easily as the church does its feasts and seasons. We do not know the name of this day nor the hour when it will arrive, but we are asked to believe in it and wait for it.

Through this story of the women who wait, we understand that this is no passive season of hanging around the lobby of life, queuing idly for the big day. We are to keep vigil, be prepared, stay watchful and alert for what is coming, for the One who is to come. This is what it means to believe: not simply to give intellectual assent ("Yes, there is a God") but to live as if it's true.

Too often we give ourselves over to the cynicism of our culture, or to despair when things go wrong for us, and refuse to live in hope any longer. I have too many friends who say, "Nothing will get better. My life is broken and does not work. I will not be loved. I will not know happiness. God is distant, and the world is ruined." Well, that certainly makes for interesting dinner conversation but it's no way to live as a Christian.

If we are not waiting in "joyful hope," as the priest says at every Mass, "for the coming of our savior Jesus Christ," then we may be religious practitioners, but we are not followers of Jesus. Remember our reply to this encouragement at Mass? It goes like this: For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and forever. Either we believe that God has all this wonder and power, and that a share of it is in store for those who wait, or we don't. I suspect that the truth is most of the time we don't.

AT THE TIMES WHEN WE ARE MOST DISCOURAGED ABOUT waiting for what seems unattainable, it may be helpful to remember some other biblical women who waited: those valiant ladies at the foot of the cross. Their hope was dying right before their eyes, and they were unable to do anything to assuage the suffering of one they loved. They could only remain nearby, pledging their love through sheer presence, showing courage in the face of real danger, proclaiming to the Romans and Sanhedrin fearlessly by their stance: We are with him!

They remind me of the women who sit with feverish children, dying husbands, friends abandoned in divorce, or heartsick over financial trouble, or weakened by cancer--the women who declare their loyalties silently by their fidelity in the midst of suffering. They seem to believe in what is to come more than they do what is happening before their eyes. They trust in the promise more than they do the present misery. No matter how long the vigil, how deep the pain, or how impossible the hope, these women at the foot of life's crosses remain rooted to the spot. They even wait at the mouths of tombs, when all evidence suggests that it is time to give up.

For the women who wait, biblically and presently, for the time of fulfillment and believe in it with all their hearts, may God grant you the day and the hour of joy. And may all of us, men and women together, prepare our lamps bravely and keep the light on.

ALICE CAMILLE, author of Invitation to Catholicism (ACTA Publications) and the Sunday readings commentary God's Word is Alive! (Twenty-Third Publications).