Wish Roo were here? EXCLUSIVE REVEALED: WAYNE'S STAG WEEK SECRETS MIRROR GIRLS PARTY WITH STAR.. AND LIFT LID ON HIS pounds 250,000 IBIZA BENDER.

Byline: BY EMILY NASH and LOUISA PILBEAM

IT was the stag do to end all stag dos - and the Mirror was there to bring you all the inside gossip.

Wayne Rooney and his pals return today from their pounds 250,000 four-day Ibiza bender - leaving us exhausted just having tried to keep up with them.

We were the only girls allowed to party with them as minders formed a ring of steel around the groom-to-be to ward off unwelcome advances from women on the make.

Sweetheart Coleen McLoughlin will be thrilled Wayne and the rest of his 16-strong gang had a riotous time but behaved themselves.

Not everyone was happy to see eager girls kept at arm's length, though. One pal confided to us: "We've been roped off in VIP areas where Wayne's security have completely banned girls.

"They can't let any of them anywhere near him in case someone takes a photo. The single lads are gutted at seeing all these stunning girls coming towards us but not being allowed in.

"Coleen's not worried at all because she knows everyone's keeping an eye on him.

"He can't be seen talking to other girls in case it's taken the wrong way, but he's not soft enough to fall for any nonsense."

We saw the England hero, 22, politely snub a female fan as she tried to chat to him in a bar. Another mate assured her: "It's nothing personal, but he can't be seen talking to girls."

And his minders were so determined not to let anyone past their guard that two even accompanied him to the loo.

Also keeping an eagle eye on proceedings were his dad Wayne Snr, 45, Coleen's father Tony, 48, and Wayne's agent Paul Stretford, 50.

But some members of the party couldn't wait to get away from the VIP area and chat up girls.

Wayne's brother Graham, 20 - dating Coleen's cousin Carly Gardiner - was stripped to the waist as he crudely told one blonde in San Antonio nightclub Eden: "I'd love to b*** you rigid." We kept up with the party-loving bunch as they blazed a trail through the town's bars and clubs such as Lineker's, Mambo and Pacha - yet they were convinced they were taking things easy.

At Pacha, another pal Tony, revealed: "Wayne's had a blinding time. He's kept a low profile because of the attention he gets, so it's been more tame than a normal night." Not that that stopped the lads from having a riotous time.

Many wore t-shirts with mocked-up pictures of Wayne as they arrived in Ibiza in party mood.

The group included the star's brother John, 17, Coleen's brother Stephen McLoughlin and best man Sean McLoughlin, her uncle.

Celebrations kicked off almost as soon as they got to their pounds 20,000 villa on Tuesday. They later made Wayne parade around the pool in an Borat-style, Y-shaped "mankini'.

They were still in high spirits the next day as they boarded a boat headed for the nearby isle of Formentera. One joker wore a tacky leopardskin thong.

A sozzled Wayne got right into the party spirit and at one stage admitted he was "f***ing caked".

Pal Lee said: "Wayne's relaxed and letting his hair down. We came out here to have a laugh.

We're just lads from Liverpool."

It was thought they would be joined by Premiership aces Steven Gerrard, Rio Ferdinand, Wes Brown, John O'Shea and Peter Crouch and boxer Ricky Hatton.

But the only other famous face was England star Jonathan Woodgate, who has a home in Ibiza and popped into Pacha on Thursday. Not that the soccer millionaires were missed.

One stag do reveller said: "Wes Brown was supposed to be on our flight but didn't show up. It's cheeky because Wayne paid for him to come. But I'm glad Gerrard didn't come. He's a grumpy b*****d."

Wayne weds Coleen in Cheshire next week before jetting to Italy for a four-day celebration.

And pal Lee told how, despite all the fun, Wayne's focus was on tying the knot.

He said: "They've got a big week ahead of them and Wayne's really happy. They will make a great husband and wife."

The prank

How Wayne would have looked in his Borat "mankini"

(Probably glad you missed that)

The missus 

'Coleen isn't worried at all because she knows everyone is keeping an eye on him. He can't be seen talking to other girls in case it's taken the wrong way, but he's not soft enough to fall for any nonsense'

CAPTION(S):

The stags; The prank; The shirts; The missus; Where they went.. HOME DRAW Their lavish pounds 20,000-a-week villa; THEY'RE OFF Then they headed to Bambuddha; HITTING THE BAR Linekers was next on list; The groom; NEW CLUB Then they went to Eden nightspot; STILL GOING They also made a stop at Mambo; HAVING A BALL Wayne and his pals inside club; LAST CALL Fun-loving gang ended up at Pacha; The Mirror PARTY PEOPLE Wayne's mate Tony with Mirror girls Louisa, left, and Emily