Where does all the money go? (Glad you asked: Q&A church teaching).

So we're cheap. We Catholics ingloriously claim our place at the bottom of the statistical list, dead last among those of every religious stripe who pitch their pennies into the collection basket. Thank God there's a lot of us because at two bucks apiece, it's the only way a parish is going to pay its bills.

But where does the money go? What happens to my fiver after I toss it in and the usher carries it away?

Off the top comes our support of the diocese. Just as the parish's only source of revenue is from the parishioners, the diocese gets its support solely from the parishes. So, depending on the diocese, somewhere between 10 and 20 percent of the collection goes to the head office.

Next in line is the parish staff. While church professionals still work for notoriously low wages, payroll is by far the biggest expense of the parish. Your administrator, pastoral associate, secretary, religious education director, music minister, youth minister, custodian, and other staffers all have rent to pay and families to support, and the church strives to pay a just wage, even to religious sisters and brothers. And it's not just the paychecks--Social Security, unemployment, health insurance, conferences, and retirement plans all add up.

Speaking of adding it up, don't forget the priest. While he may get a much smaller paycheck than the rest of the staff, you still pay for his housing, meals, telephone, cable or satellite, medical insurance, transportation, retirement, conventions, and retreats. He wants to redecorate? You pay for it. He throws a party? You pick up the tab. He has a taste for fancy Irish whiskey? You're buying. All things considered, some priests make a darn good living.

Then there's utilities: heat and air conditioning for the church, rectory, office, and other facilities; lights, trash, snow removal, grounds keeping; and the cost of maintaining big buildings, big equipment, and big parking lots is staggering.

Liturgical goodies mount up, too. Those candles aren't cheap, and the bread and wine, believe it or not, come from companies in business to make money.

And in case you haven't noticed lately, the church gets sued once in a while. The parish pays to maintain hefty liability insurance--not just for sex abuse litigation but also for when Mrs. Olivetti falls on the steps and tweaks her hip. And it's not just the premiums; the deductibles are murder, especially when there are multiple lawsuits.

So it takes mucho dinero to run the parish plant, and we should probably be a little looser with our lucre. After all, we love our church--but oh, you checkbook!

PAUL BOUDREAU, a priest of the Diocese of Norwich and author of Between Sundays (Twenty-Third Publications).