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What's on this week.

Byline: DAVE MARK

TV Quiz

YOU KNOW YOUR TELLY?

1 Which TV bear had a cousin called Scampi?

2 Which popular TV character often says ' Lovely jubbly?

3 Which thrice- weekly UK drama had a jury made up of members of the public?

4 Which OC star played Jim Robinson in Neighbours?

5 How many pictures are there on the pictureboard in A Question of Sport?

6 Which ex- Dr Who was Cole Hawlings in The Box of Delights ?

7 If Joanna Lumley was Sapphire, who was Steel?

8 Which Brookside character had been married to DD and Anthea, and engaged to Bev?

9 Hollywood actress Teri Garr gueststarred as which Friends' mum?

10 Episodes of which late 60s chat show ended with the host driving off with a blonde in an E- type Jag?

11 What sort of building was on Fraggle Rock?

12 In which year did Deirdre and Ken Barlow originally get married in Corrie?

13 Faith in the Future was the sequel to which sitcom?

14 Jimbo was a mini version of which vehicle?

15 Which US drama followed social issues of the 60s and 70s through the eyes of teenager Kevin Arnold?

16 Which chat show host was attacked by interviewee Grace Jones?

17 Which member of Dad's Army did Private Pike refer to as Uncle Arthur?

18 What did Crossroads character Benny always wear on his head?

19 Who played Peter Mayle in A Year in Provence?

20 What sort of creature was Rainbow's George?

21 With which kitchen implement did Pauline famously thump Arthur as he confessed to his affair in EastEnders?

22 Who was the first permanent host to fill Richard Whiteley's shoes on Countdown?

23 Which short- lived sci-fi series saw water- based creatures snatching the bodies of residents of Homestead?

24 Sports writer Ray Barone is the lead character in which American sitcom?

25 Which late TV artist designed the first Blue Peter badge?

26 Which detective series featured Kris Marshall and Amanda Donohoe as mismatched colleagues?

27 Battle of The Islands was the subtitle of which reality show?

28 On which island do Father Ted and his congregation live?

29 Which Emmerdale character married Lord Alex Oakwell and Lord Michael Thornfield?

30 On which BBC show did singers perform duets with celebrities?

ANSWERS

1 Sooty 2 Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter 3 Crown Court 4 Alan Dale 5 Twelve 6 Patrick Troughton 7 David McCallum 8 Ron Dixon 9 Phoebe Buffay 10 Dee Time 11 A lighthouse 12 1981 13 Second Thoughts 14 A jumbo jet 15 The Wonder Years 16 Russell Harty 17 Sgt Wilson 18 A woolly hat 19 John Thaw 20 A pink hippo 21 A frying pan 22 Des Lynam 23 Invasion 24 Everybody Loves Raymond 25 Tony Hart 26 Murder City 27 Shipwrecked 28 Craggy Island 29 Lady Tara, now Tara Reynolds 30 Just the Two of Us

What I love... and hate

By Rachel Shelley, star of The L Word on Living 2

BOOK: I love Somerset M a u g h a m's Of Human Bondage.

TV: I really liked Six Feet Under. It was just amazing, fantastically written, I loved the characters and the pace of it. It was slow enough to feel like you really knew these people and yet there was enough happening to keep you riveted. I loved the aspect of it not just being about a life, it was so much about death as well and that is something that had been really overlooked in drama. I don't like any reality shows.

FILM: Choosing a favourite film is very hard. I often go back to Bicycle Thieves. I can't remember who directed it but it's an old Italian film. I find it really hard to have favourites and least favourites but that's one of them.

HOLIDAY: I love India and I also love Laos. It's an amazing place. Least favourite would be the package I bought last minute. It was Costa del somewhere in Spain. Awful!

THE NO1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY

SUNDAY,BBC1,9pm

The story so far

Sunday nights are about to lose their appeal.

For the past few weeks,we have transported ourselves to sunkissed Botswana to spend an hour with Precious Ramotswe, owner of the detective agency of the title.

Jolly, noble, tenacious and with a backside the size of a house, she's been a true ray of sunshine. In the opener, things were looking bleak for the Agency. Money was tight and cases were few.

By week three, Ramotswe's eccentric and loyal secretary Grace proved her worth yet again, and was rightly promoted to assistant detective. On her first assignment, she had to tail an unfaithful wife but the only car she could find for the job was her uncle's chauffeur-driven limo.

Last week, Precious faced stiff competition from a rival agency run by nasty Paterson Joseph.With JLB's help, she saw him off, then finally gave in to his charms. Tonight, Ramotswe's happiness at her engagement to JLB is overshadowed as Cephus Buthelezi invites her ex to town.

ON THE CASE... Precious Ramotswe

SPORT

THE BEST OF THE WEEK'S ACTION

MOTHERWELL v ST MIRREN

SATURDAY,SETANTA SPORTS 1

The first of the weekend's SPL matches sees Motherwell entertain St Mirren at Fir Park.

This will be the fifth meeting between the teams this season as they have met twice in the league and twice in the Scottish Cup.

The Steelmen have so far collected four points from their league meetings, including a 2-1 victory here, when Billy Mehmet gave the Buddies the lead, before John Sutton (left) equalised and Robert Malcolm netted the winner with his first goal for the club.

However, Gus MacPherson's men gained revenge in the fifth round of the cup.

They first drew 1-1 here, then Mehmet scored the only goal of the game in the replay at New St Mirren Park.

He again netted the decisive strike in the following round as his team stunned Celtic, with the competition proving to be a welcome distraction from their struggles in the SPL.

There is little doubt though that staying in the top flight is their priority and they will have to be at their very best if they are to upset Mark McGhee's men and move closer to safety.

It promises to be a nail-biter as the season hits its climax.

HIBERNIAN v RANGERS

SUNDAY, SETANTA SPORTS 1

Hosts Hibs lock horns with titlechasing Rangers in the SPL clash at Easter Road, as the Gers target their third win of the season over Hibs to keep pressure on Celtic.

Walter Smith's men won 3-0 here in September, aided by a brace from ex-Hibee Kenny Miller (right), and followed that up with a 1-0 triumph at Ibrox in December, thanks to a strike by Kris Boyd.

SNOOKER: THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP

THURSDAY, BBC2

Scotland's own John Higgins takes centre stage at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, as he takes on Michael Holt in the penultimate first-round encounter of this year's world championship.

"The Wizard of Wishaw" is a two-time world champion, having won the title in 1998 and 2007, but he surprisingly lost 13-9 to Ryan Day in round two last year and will be determined to do better this time around.

While some questions remain over the Nottingham-born Holt's temperament and concentration levels, he is a strong player on his day and had encouraging wins over experienced campaigners Mark Davis and Dominic Dale to qualify for the event.

Therefore, Higgins will not be taking anything for granted as he aims to avoid a repeat of 2006, when he was beaten 10-4 by Mark Selby in the opening round.

DOCUMENTARY OF THE WEEK

Going ape in South Africa

BABOON WOMAN

TUESDAY, FIVE, 8pm

Given that it's on Five, you could be forgiven for thinking that a programme called Baboon Woman would focus on an attractive young lady with a bright blue bottom and a passion for bananas.

But you'd be wrong. A TV visionary perhaps, but wrong nonetheless. This is actually a fascinating documentary that lifts the lid on a woman who is going ape in her attempt to protect primates.

On the southern coast of South Africa, a war is being waged between humans and baboons. As they become increasingly socialised, the baboons are deserting the mountains and encroaching on the low-lying land in search of food.

Infuriated by the destructive behaviour, farmers shoot or maim as many wild baboons as they can.

Justin O'Riain of Cape Town University says: "Even animal conservationists hate baboons."

However, one woman has devoted 10 years to the plight of the baboons. Karin Sachs lives and works with wild baboon troops. Karin has been obsessed with primates since they appeared in her dreams.

She now lives on a farm with her boyfriend John and 13 vervet monkeys. She has befriended the local Gaia baboon troop and spends much of her time with them.

Over a period of years Karin has learned to speak to the baboons, including a 'comfort grunt', the 'lip smack' and the 'where-are-you bark'.

Karin feels she has found her inner primate with the troop.

"I would say that I'm more likely to trust baboons than humans," she says.

This is a superb look at an intriguing woman. Sadly, the colour of her bottom is never addressed.

DAVE MARK

FILMFLEX/BOX OFFICE

FILMFLEX FRED CLAUS

When Santa's selfish estranged brother ends up in jail, the family bail him out - on condition that he returns to the family business. With Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti.

IMPORT/EXPORT

Ukrainian nurse Olga leaves her family and heads west for a better life, while security guard Pauli enters the former- Soviet nation with expectations of a more fulfilling existence.

THE RUINS

Slasher movies don't come much scarier or more sun-kissed than this. Tourists explore Mayan ruins in Mexico, only to be attacked by villagers and plants. With Jena Malone and Shawn Ashmore.

THE ESCAPIST

Convict serving a life sentence learns his daughter has become seriously ill so hatches a plan to tunnel out of prison. Thriller, starring dream pairing of Brian Cox and Damian Lewis.

BOX OFFICE

GHOST TOWN

A bad-tempered dentist can see ghosts, who all want him to sort out their unresolved problems. It gets messy when he falls for the widow of one of the spirits. Ricky Gervais and Greg Kinnear star.

STEP BROTHERS

Two bachelors who still live at home find their lives turned upside down when their parents marry and the spoiled pair are grudgingly forced to share a room. Stars Will Ferrell and John C Reilly.

BURN AFTER READING

Two gym employees get hold of a CIA agent's memoirs, leading to blackmail, murder and international intrigue. Coen brothers' comedy, with George Clooney, Brad Pitt and John Malkovich.

BODY OF LIES

A CIA agent pursues a terrorist but begins to suspect neither his allies nor his superiors can be trusted. Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe both excel.

MOVIE OF THE WEEK

Dream team hit the screen

Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman finally star together and use their talents to make the most of a mediocre script

THE BUCKET LIST

SAT, SKY PREMIERE,8pm

When you've got Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson in your movie, you're duty bound to use them well.

But the people behind The Bucket List obviously didn't pay much heed to that fact, as they came up with a lacklustre and predictable script.

It wastes a great premise and throws away a screen pairing that movie fans have been waiting years to see. It's almost a very bad film.

And yet, it's an enjoyable movie.

Nicholson and Freeman are every bit as wonderful as you'd expect.

And if you judge a movie by how many times you laugh, you'll be a happy customer.

The Bucket List is essentially a film for the occasional movie-goer rather than a connoisseur.

It's fun and you'll watch the final credits with a smile on your face. It's just that you may find yourselves wondering "what if?" The duo are cast in roles they could perform in their sleep.

Nicholson plays a rich cynic and ladies' man. Freeman is the devoted family man.

When both are diagnosed with cancer, they end up fighting for their lives on the same hospital ward. When the inevitable happens and they become buddies,they decide to use their remaining months to live life to the full before they kick the bucket. That's the set-up for much travel, some skydiving, and lots of soul-searching.

There are some flashes here and there that demonstrate the true power of the actors on the screen, such as a curious debate about the nature of life at the summit of the Great Pyramid, and watching Big Jack's jowls flap in the wind as he hurtles towards the ground from a light aircraft is always worth a good giggle. As a comedy, it works a treat. Just try not to think how good it could have been as a drama.

DAVE MARK

DARTS

THURSDAY SKY SPORTS 1

The 12th round of the Premier League season takes place at the Aberdeen Exhibition and Conference Centre, where the matches are Jelle Klaasen v Raymond van Barneveld, John Part v Phil Taylor, Mervyn King v Terry Jenkins and James Wade v Wayne Mardle.

TENNIS

FRIDAY SKY SPORTS 2

The remaining players contest the quarter- finals on day five of the Torneo Godo at the Real Club de Tenis Barcelona in Spain, where Rafael Nadal took the honours last year.
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Apr 18, 2009
Words:2254
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