We love telly; PICK OF THE DAY.
LUTHER BBC1, 9pm
DCI John Luther is a man on the edge tonight - literally.
Our moody detective, played by Idris Elba, is in more hot water after smacking his wife's new boyfriend last week and now faces a possible assault charge.
But there are far bigger problems for the force to deal with this week.
A gunman has ambushed a couple of police officers answering a 999 call and it soon becomes apparent that there is someone out there with a serious grudge against the uniform and an impressive armoury to back it up.
Meanwhile, Alice Morgan (Ruth Wilson), who killed her parents and her dog last week, has managed to get away with her crime and is continuing to stalk Luther and his family in more of her surprising variety of wigs.
What's not clear yet is whether Alice intends to be Luther's nemesis or his love interest or something in between: the twist of having a criminal genius who is a woman suggests this thriller gets to have its cake and eat it, too.
Luther's main concern is that Alice will go after his wife again - a reasonable enough fear after Alice stuck a hatpin in Zoe's ear last week.
So while London's police force face improvised explosives and automatic weapons, we're confronted with the slightly ridiculous scene of Zoe and boyfriend Mark (Paul McGann) terrorised by a slip of a girl with a wine glass.
WE LOVE COMEDY
LA LA LAND BBC3, 10.30pm
IF you missed last week's episode I urge you to check it out on the BBC's iPlayer. In it we saw documentary-maker Brendan (one of the three deluded wannabes all played by Marc Wootton) pitch his idea for a climbing disaster documentary to a Hollywood producer.
"Right, it'll look like an accident. Boom, this is what just happened to happen and, boom, then you're filming it... That could work. Absolutely... ."
In practice, Wootton earns himself a lifelong pedestal in the pranksters' hall of fame, right next to Borat.
This week, Brendan's big idea is to release a condor into the wild. And he has persuaded a passer-by to pretend to be an ecology expert. Also tonight, aspiring actor Gary Garner films his show-reel and fake psychic Shirley Ghostman drugs the competition at an audition for a new show called Spirited.
If there are TVs in the afterlife, you can bet Jeremy Beadle will have La La Land on Series Link.
WE LOVE DRAMA
HOLBY CITY BBC1, 8pm
PROFESSIONAL jealousy is rife tonight as Oliver celebrates his promotion to F2 and Donna and Maria insist they have no intention of applying for the role of sister while Chrissie's on maternity leave. What this actually means, of course, is that they both want the job and are destined to fall out over it big time.
Meanwhile, Mark wants to help a young footballer with a growth on his lung. Laser treatment could save him but it requires an expensive bit of kit Holby doesn't have. A taxi to a hospital that does would surely be much cheaper and quicker than Mark's proposal. So is he CEO material? On the basis of this decision, I'd say not.
Also tonight, Connie's embarrassing mate is still on the ward and her husband has a surprise - a photo of them from years ago going to see Rod Stewart.
Seriously? I had no idea Connie was in her 60s. No wonder she wanted to keep these friends from Holby.
WE LOVE SOAPS
EMMERDALE ITV1, 7pm
JOHN and Moira Barton have an enviably perfect marriage. The only couple in Emmerdale recently who've been this besotted with each other were Mark and Natasha Wylde... and look what has happened to them.
With Eve working that Daisy Duke look and dangling herself in front of John like a trailerload of forbidden fruit, Moira can see which way the wind is blowing and warns her to keep her muddy paws off.
EASTENDERS BBC1, 7.30pm
IAN reckons that the best way for Jane to avoid finding out that Lucy deliberately got rid of the baby is for her to go to Florida.
If he thinks that will stop anyone from telling her, he knows even less about women than he thinks.
Jane could go to the moon and a piece of gossip like this would still keep fresh until she got back. And maybe going to Florida would only create more problems than it would solve.
She'll need someone to rub suntan oil on her back while she's there - and Masood is quick to volunteer his services.
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WIG WHAM Alice Morgan keeps John Luther on his toes PRANKSTER Marc Wootton GOING UP Oliver is promoted WORRIED Ian wants Lucy to hide the truth from Jane in 'Enders