War leaves hole in holidays.

Byline: Matt Cooper The Register-Guard

In the Boggs household, it's just understood that Dad will open his gifts when he gets back from Iraq.

"We don't have him for Christmas this year, OK? So we'll have him next year," said 36-year-old Laura Boggs of Florence, describing how she's explained things to her two children. "That's the way you do it."

For many people, holidays revolve around families. All families of soldiers at war in Iraq must adjust to the absence of their loved ones.

This can be especially hard for families in the National Guard: Unlike active-duty personnel and their families who live on or near military bases where support and services are at hand, National Guard members are spread across the nation and lead civilian lives until called into service.

Boggs has been married for 16 years to Sgt. Kerry Boggs, 42, one of 700-plus soldiers in Iraq with the 2nd Battalion, 162nd Infantry, of the Oregon National Guard, which is based in Cottage Grove. She serves as the battalion's family support coordinator, helping others on the home front cope with the large and small hassles of having family members away at war.

Kerry Boggs is in the Baghdad area to patrol, escort convoys, search for improvised explosive devices, work on building projects and conduct raids for targeted individuals, said Capt. Mike Braibish, of the Guard. Since combat began in March 2003, the Oregon Guard has had nine soldiers, eight of them members of the 2-162 battalion, killed in action, and many more wounded.

Laura Boggs has seen her husband just three times since he left for duty in August 2003, and he's not expected home before April, with the rest of his battalion. With Christmas coming, she feels the same concern for her husband's safety that she's lived with for the last 16 months.

But little else has been upset by Kerry's absence because his civilian job as a Lane County sheriff's deputy had conditioned the family to accept his "oddball schedule," Laura said.

"As for getting ready for the holidays, it's basically the same as it was in prior years," she said. "Kerry was always at work when we tried to decorate the house."

The family gets by on weekly phone calls from Iraq - she sends the money to replenish his phone card - so that Dad can check in with 15-year-old Mitchell and 12-year-old Nicole, who will be 13 on Friday.

Friends, family and daily prayer have helped Laura Boggs assume an accepting - even joking - demeanor, and she is buoyed by support from Oregonians on the home front.

Braibish and Maj. Donna Brann, also of the Guard, characterized the support as "phenomenal": thousands of care packages and letters of support; more-than-adequate resources for food, toys, sundries and clothes; telephone cards donated by local suppliers and the community; and 1,200 Webcams to link soldiers and their families.

Laura Boggs is a critical link in that chain of support, Brann said.

As battalion family support coordinator, she has worked 90-hour weeks for more than a year, troubleshooting problems, directing services, attending funerals and generally taking care of 1,200 families with battalion members at home or abroad.

"No other unit in Oregon has experienced casualty operations comparable to the 2-162," Brann said. "She's taken on a role far beyond what anyone ever anticipated family readiness to do. To say she's phenomenal is an understatement."

Laura Boggs reads the community's strong support as a determination not to repeat Vietnam, when U.S. troops were condemned at home by opponents of the war. The support from Vietnam veterans and families, in fact, has been "overwhelmingly wonderful," she said.

"Everyone's definitely aware of (this war)," she added. "I get the feeling nobody wants what happened to our Vietnam soldiers - the lack of gratitude, the lack of respect, the lack of kindness - to happen ever again. They may not like the war, but supporting the soldiers, it's definitely there."

Boggs is frustrated by what she sees as an absence in news coverage of the good being accomplished in Iraq, and she rejects sweeping portrayals of home front families as "destitute, emotional wrecks," she said.

"We've got a lot of them who are going to keep on with the traditions they have done before, and why change now?" Boggs said. "There's going to be some that are going to struggle, and those who have come forward to say, `I need help,' we are helping them."

Before he left, Kerry Boggs prepped his wife on dealing with some of the nuisances he would have handled, from car trouble to electrical problems at home. She's kept the checkbook for years, so the financial duties didn't change at all.

In this household, war's peril is balanced by a healthy serving of hope.

Kerry Boggs' Christmas stocking hangs with the rest, and his gifts have been wrapped and stored, awaiting his return.

The same blue lights that always adorn the Boggs Christmas tree are up - they represent fallen law-enforcement officers - and there is only one change: The traditional Santa hat atop the tree has been replaced by a military beret.

"It's basically saying that he's still here with us," Laura Boggs said. "You might as well put the head of the house on top of the tree."

GETTING HELP

Host families: During the holidays, the public can "adopt" the families of military personnel serving abroad by providing them with groceries, toys, even a spot at the table; call 686-7574

Military families: For more information about state and local assistance programs, log onto www.guardfamily.org. or call 686-7574

CAPTION(S):

It's a small Christmas tree, but it may be perfect for one of the families who will spend the holidays without a loved one serving with the Oregon National Guard in Iraq. Laura Boggs of Florence, wife of Sgt. Kerry Boggs, serves as family support coordinator for the Cottage Grove-based 2nd Battalion, 162nd Infantry. On Tuesday at the armory in Eugene, she sorted through a room filled with household goods and gifts that will be distributed to families of unit members. Paul Carter / The Register-Guard