WITH THESE 50, BEAUTY IN THE EYE OF PEOPLE.Byline: Ed Bark Dallas Morning News Paced by cover boy Mel Gibson, People magazine's ``50 Most Beautiful People in the World'' again have been bestowed upon us. You'll be pleased to know that former ``21 Jump Street'' star Johnny Depp ``looks stupendous no matter what.'' And that ``in repose, Nicole Kidman emits the delicate aura of bone china.'' Singer Tori Amos comes equipped with ``lollapalooza lips'' and ``an off-kilter arrangement of siren's hair and milk-bath skin.'' But the hands-down dippiest prose of all is saved for ``ER's'' George Clooney, of whom People asks, ``Does this guy look familiar? Those sensuous lips, those curfew-breaking eyes, the head-down, forgot-my-homework mug that makes you want to either mother him or smother him with kisses?'' Clooney is one of 17 TV personalities fortunate or unfortunate enough to make People's final cut. This means the tube is responsible for fully one-third of the entire world's knockouts. Unforgivably, Morley Safer again is omitted. That's really too bad, because People missed a chance to write, ``His basset hound basset hound, breed of short-legged, long-bodied hound developed centuries ago in France. It stands from 12 to 15 in. (30.1–38.1 cm) high at the shoulder and weighs from 25 to 50 lb (11.3–22.7 kg). mug and accordionlike chin folds bespeak be·speak tr.v. be·spoke , be·spo·ken or be·spoke, be·speak·ing, be·speaks 1. To be or give a sign of; indicate. See Synonyms at indicate. 2. a. To engage, hire, or order in advance. an unbridled man's man with more mileage than a 1962 Volkswagen.'' Past Beautiful People compendiums have included broadcast news stars such as Peter Jennings and Diane Sawyer. Now it's cable's turn, in the person of Black Entertainment Television's Ed Gordon, the reporter who interviewed O.J. Simpson and in the process helped him hawk his video. ``Lord knows, I'm no mud-bath guy,'' he reveals. ``I shower, wash my hair and I'm out the door.'' To which People adds, ``Somehow fitting - for one who's genetically gifted.'' Other TV beauties include ``NYPD NYPD New York City Police Department (since 1845; New York City, NY, USA) NYPD New York Play Development Blue's'' Gail O'Grady (``I have mood eyes.''); ``All My Children's'' Keith Hamilton Cobb Keith Hamilton Cobb (born 28 January 1962) is an American actor, best known for his roles as the ruthless Nietzschean mercenary Tyr Anasazi in the science-fiction series Andromeda from 2000 to 2002 and Noah Keefer on All My Children from 1994 to 1996. (``soft tendrils''); John Walsh of ``America's Most Wanted'' (``It's his salt-and-pepper hair and craggy features that viewers would rather see on a poster.''); ``Melrose Place's'' Josie Bissett (``I could have a better stomach.''); ``X-Files'' star David Duchovny (``geek-chic visage''); Fran Drescher of ``The Nanny'' (``I got a couple of headlight zits on my face a few days ago.''); Jenny McCarthy of MTV's ``Singled Out'' (``A little kick boxing keeps the abs buffed.'') and even zookeeper zoo·keep·er n. One who takes care of animals in a zoo. and ``Animal Adventures'' host Jack Hanna (``He's devastatingly sexy,'' says Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown Helen Gurley Brown (b. February 18, 1922 in Green Forest, Arkansas), is an author, publisher, and businesswoman. She was editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine for 32 years. Brown's father died in an accident when she was young, and her sister was a polio victim. ). Not surprisingly at all, the Fox network dominates these proceedings with six entries, followed by NBC NBC in full National Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. commercial broadcasting company. It was formed in 1926 by RCA Corp., General Electric Co. (GE), and Westinghouse and was the first U.S. company to operate a broadcast network. (three), ABC ABC in full American Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. television network. It began when the expanding national radio network NBC split into the separate Red and Blue networks in 1928. (two) and one apiece for CBS, UPN, WB, MTV, BET and syndicated TV. Glaring omissions? Seriously speaking, how did People overlook Teri Hatcher, who co-stars in ABC's ``Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman'' series and is the favorite ``download'' pinup pin·up n. 1. a. A picture, especially of a sexually attractive person, that is displayed on a wall. b. A person considered a suitable model for such a picture. 2. on the Internet? For that matter, Supie himself, Dean Cain, should have been allowed to share his beauty secrets. Add Roma Downey of CBS' ``Touched by an Angel,'' Andre Braugher of NBC's ``Homicide: Life on the Street,'' Jason Gedrick and Bobbie Phillips (she played Jessica Costello's sister, Julie) of ABC's ``Murder One,'' Conan O'Brien of NBC's ``Late Night With Conan O'Brien'' and Nancy Travis of CBS' ``Almost Perfect.'' Beauty is, of course, in the eye of the beholder and more than skin deep. This explains why the Hunchback hunchback, abnormal outward curvature of the spine in the thoracic region. It is also known as kyphosis and humpback, and in its severe form a noticeable hump is evident on the back. of Notre Dame had a little Mel Gibson in him. And so, to salute some of TV's more plain-faced populace, here's Uncle Barky's addendum to People's Beautiful People. Written People-style, of course. Charles Durning (formerly of CBS' ``Evening Shade'') - More horizontal than vertical, his medicine-ball build seductively whispers ``Squeeze me deep'' to wizened women of uncommon breeding. Homer Simpson (Fox's ``The Simpsons'') - His precious two strands of hair form silky croquet wickets atop a timeless face that stops both clocks and hearts. Pot belly by Michelangelo. Pamela Reed (NBC's ``Home Court'') - Beauty more enduring than a nicotine fit. ``Gimme gim·me Informal Contraction of give me. adj. Slang Demanding material things or especially money; acquisitive: today's gimme society; tired of gimme letters. n. a pack of Sen-Sen,'' she croaks in a leathery voice that cuts to the chase yet begs to be pursued. Jay Leno (NBC's ``The Tonight Show'') - Oh Johnny, oh Johnny, oh Johnny, no. A seductive, high-pitched cackle. An ample bottom aboard a roaring Harley. Truly his beauty is more than chin deep. Lynn Sherr (ABC News) - Her big-boned sexuality tells us Don Knotts need not apply. ``Come chase a scoop with me, and then share a Sunday New York Times before we wrestle roughly for the crossword puzzle.'' Lou Dobbs (anchor of CNN's ``Moneyline'') - His Ted Baxter-esque shock of snow-white hair invites the long-stemmed fingers of a Jezebel Jezebel (jĕz`əbĕl), in the First Book of Kings, Phoenician princess who was the wife of King Ahab and the mother of Ahaziah, Jehoram, and Athaliah. . Shoulder to the camera, ego to the fore. Call him ``Louie baby'' and he'll take you on a magic carpet ride. |
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