WILL JANET BE INVITED BACK? TAME FESTIVITIES WIN BLESSINGS OF PRESIDENTS, THE FCC.

Byline: David Kronke Television Critic

It didn't take long for Super Bowl XXXIX to achieve squeaky-clean-cut overkill, and before the National Anthem was even performed, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton appeared on the field, proffering the Presidential Seal of Approval on the proceedings.

Their presence, like the tribute to American soldiers from World War II to Iraq, seemed a calculated pre-emptive strike. How could anyone, let alone the Federal Communications Commission, which fined CBS for last year's notorious halftime show, find fault with a program opening with such patriotic spectacle?

To be sure, World War II veterans and our current military deserve all the praise they receive for their sacrifice to our country. It just would've felt a lot more heartfelt had the Super Bowl brain trust opted to honor them without the FCC hovering in the background.

In addition to fining CBS, outgoing FCC Chairman Michael Powell also decried the crude nature of some of last year's commercials (a flatulent horse and nut-cracking dog were among the biggest offenders). So this year, Fox - home to some of broadcast TV's loudest, crassest programs (a midgame promo for ``The O.C.'' implied a lesbian kiss involving Mischa Barton's heretofore heterosexual character) - assumed particularly draconian measures in rejecting potential advertisers.

Though it's difficult to imagine anyone craving a glimpse of Mickey Rooney's backside - the deal-breaker for a rejected medicine ad - and one can understand the network wanting to separate itself from Janet Jackson's coming-out party last year, the subject of a junked, jokey beer spot.

But a scrapped GoDaddy.com commercial was innocuous. It was similar to the one that did air, featuring a model testifying before a government hearing, demonstrating a cheer for her product by undulating. The spot was no worse than a shot of sideline cheerleaders or exuberant female fans in the stands, and was clearly jettisoned by a touchy, FCC-fearing network because of its vague (though scarcely pointed) commentary on the political climate.

Instead, there were a lot of commercials involving cute animals. FedEx mocked the very idea of cynical Super Bowl-commercial spectacle, with Burt Reynolds hoofing with a talking bear; but garrulous creatures were everywhere.

A dog confused a car's lease with a leash. Cattle gossiped about a friend abandoning frigid Wisconsin for California. A snowy heron protected a woman from unwanted pub suitors. Cubicle-dwelling chimps made a workplace miserable for a human colleague, who sought employment elsewhere via a job-finding Web site. And in a sequel to last year's winsome spot, a whole veritable zoo of animals sought to join the Budweiser Clydesdales with their donkey mascot.

Certainly, the ads seemed aimed at kids, even if the products weren't. Dumbing down the culture may not be the FCC's intent, but it's inevitably the result.

Halftime performer Paul McCartney offered an uncontroversial miniconcert, unless someone, somewhere, is offended by ``Get Back's'' oblique references to marijuana and gender confusion or the pro-violent James Bond tune ``Live and Let Die.'' ``Hey Jude'' was accompanied by the incongruous image of the Statue of Liberty - more FCC genuflection.

After 2004's controversy, producers turned to McCartney, who's so safe he once took out a newspaper ad calling for legalizing marijuana, wrote a song titled ``Why Don't We Do It in the Road'' and his songwriting partner once declared their band more popular than Jesus.

Of course, all this occurred in the '60s. Given this, Janet Jackson need merely be patient: She could be invited back to perform at the Super Bowl in 2042.

David Kronke,[phone]

davidkronke(at)dailynews.com