WHO'S YOUR DADDY? 'BOOT CAMPS' ACROSS THE VALLEY ARE TURNING NEW FATHERS INTO LEAN, MEAN, DIAPER-CHANGING MACHINES.

Byline: Steven Rosenberg  Staff Writer

The 12 recruits look a little worried.

In the weeks and months ahead they will hit the ground running. Goodbye regular sleep, regular meals, regular everything. Lights, camcorder, action. Cue the baby.

They will become dads.

But it's not so easy for these 21st-century men enrolled in a recent Journey Into Fatherhood workshop at Northridge Hospital Medical Center. Their partners - and society - expect more of them. And they expect more of themselves.

``Men who are becoming fathers today understand in most cases that they missed something from their own father that they want to give their own kids. And their fathers missed out,'' says Greg Bishop, founder of Irvine-based Boot Camp for New Dads, with has trained an estimated 50,000 men nationwide during the past 15 years. ``You've got a really strong motivation to do the job for your kids. If (your own father) wasn't there, you want to be there. If he was, you want to be like him.''

So, early on a Saturday morning, these future dads sit in a circle of chairs in the medical center's day-care facility, toys neatly put away on shelves, drawings on the walls and all the grape juice, fruit punch and bagels they can eat. Most say their wives signed them up for this Journey Into Fatherhood workshop.

And they have questions.

``How do you stop them from crying?'' Fernando Florez, 33, asks the veteran dads at the class, one of a smattering of hospital-sponsored workshops designed to give expectant fathers a ``boot camp''-style induction into the ranks of parenthood.

Florez, a Northridge resident, is a Los Angeles County firefighter. He specializes in hazardous materials. He and his fellow dads-to-be will soon be dealing with some very hazardous material, and it's weighing heavily on their minds.

It's why veteran dad Ken Palmer, 38, with Jordan, 6 months, arrived later than expected.

``We were a little late - the last one was kind of bad.''

Poop. It's what they're all worried about.

``They leak - diapers leak,'' says the Chatsworth computer programmer. ``It moves up the front, it moves up the back - it just moves. It's like if you put a fire hose in a bag.''

While the prospect of poop remains, the future dads also worry about how to hold their babies. One father-to-be even worries about paralyzing his baby if his or her head flops too quickly. Reassurance they need. Reassurance they get.

``The head will not fall off,'' said instructor Bill Sehres, a middle- school teacher during the week and a father of three boys. ``You just want to be careful you're not jerking them. They're really built to weather life's travails. Handle them gingerly, but they're not fragile - they don't break easily.''

It's the second boot camp for Frank Alaniz Jr. - the 31-year-old served six years in the Marine Corps. Now a student at California State University, Northridge, and a member of the reserves, he heard the words ``boot camp'' and ``daddy,'' and knew the class was just what he needed.

Expecting his baby in March, he, too, has worries.

``I'm having an issue with diapering if it's a girl - I'm still kind of uncomfortable.''

And in a room full of men, the advice is ... manly.

``Get over it,'' instructs Palmer, his daughter in hand. ``It's a little strange when you first have the baby. After that, you get over it. You don't have a choice; you just move on.''

For the Marine, it is the daddy boot camp equivalent of ``drop and give me 20.''

The daddy boot camp phenomenon began about 15 years ago with Bishop, who recruits and trains men to teach the classes via his Boot Camp for New Dads organization. The Northridge Hospital class recently changed its name to tone down the militaristic connotations, but that distinction seems unnecessary among the new fathers who want to be ready for whatever a baby throws their way.

``The first three months of a brand-new baby are really boot camp,'' says Bishop, a father of four from Irvine. ``The guys come, they sit down together, close the doors, and three hours later they walk out of there. There's no shtick. What is said in the room stays in the room. You can see the change in the rookies from when they come in to when they walk out - like the military does it.''

And those guys return - with their babies - to help bring the next generation of dads along.

Bishop says more is expected - and should be expected - from fathers than ever before, especially given the large number of children being raised by single mothers. ``There's been a sea change over the last decade, particularly during the last five years - failure is not an option.''

And the boot camp movement is part of that challenge. Through his organization alone, there are 250 classes being taught in 39 states. And like any drill instructor, he lays it out.

``The men who are not doing the job with their kids, they don't know what they're missing. If they did know, they would be on the job.''

Hogan Hilling, 49, also of Irvine, and a father of three, offers his own take on daddy boot camp, a workshop called Proud Dads, at Encino-Tarzana Regional Medical Center. Like all the instructors, he acknowledges that supporting the new mom should be the primary focus for these new dads. But when it comes to the baby, they face their own obstacles.

``The typical wife stays home after the baby is born, and the husband goes to work. The mom is home all day making mistakes, and nobody is correcting her. But when she is home, she expects her husband to learn in one hour what she learned in eight to 10 hours. The moms focus too much on how the husbands do things rather than what they do.''

And often these men learn their new roles in a vacuum.

``A lot of dads think other dads know what they're doing - but a lot don't and are afraid to ask for help.''

Meanwhile, in the Northridge workshop, veteran dad John Schwartz, 41, an information-technology worker, hoists 8-month-old daughter Katelyn above his head with one hand. It's a classic move from the dad playbook.

``Don't ever do this,'' the Northridge man jokingly tells the dads. ``My wife just freaks out.''

Abe Bedros, 38, of Encino, a commercial insurance salesman whose baby is due in early December, is worried but determined.

``I've never messed around with infants - I've never changed a diaper. It's gonna be messy, but I'm going to deal with it.''

Call it the obstacle course of daddy boot camp - the changing of the diaper. Some of the men hang back, others get right in there to see what lies beneath the Huggies as Schwartz changes Katelyn.

Again, their biggest worry, as one says, is ``a mess in the back.'' Abe asks about rashes. Both Ken and John recommend Balmex diaper ointment with the same authority that they'd tout Castrol 10W-40 for their Chevy.

And then it's time for the dads-to-be to hold Jordan and Katelyn.

``She's comfortable,'' says firefighter Florez as he cradles Jordan.

Quick reads

``The Man Who Would Be Dad''

By Hogan Hilling

(175 pages, Capital Books; $12.95)

``Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads''

By Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden

(240 pages, Simon & Schuster; $11.95)

``The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips and Advice on First-Year Maintenance''

By Louis Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht

(224 pages, Quirk Books; $14.95)

``Baby: An Owner's Manual''

By Steve Tague and Julie Long

(96 pages, Broadway; $9.95)

``Keeping the Baby Alive Till Your Wife Gets Home''

By Walter Roark

(160 pages, Clearing Skies Press; $14.50)

``Hit the Ground Crawling''

By Greg Bishop

(available in 2005 from www.bootcampfornewdads.com, [phone])

Where to enlist 

Journey Into Fatherhood for New Dads

Time: 9:30 a.m. to noon the third Saturday of every other month. Next class is Jan. 15.

Instructor: Bill Sehres.

Where: Northridge Hospital Medical Center's Child-Care Center, 18460 Cantara St., Reseda.

Information and registration: [phone], www.northridgehospital.com.

Proud Dads

Time: 6:30 to 8 p.m. the second Thursday of every other month. Next class is Jan. 13.

Instructor: Hogan Hilling.

Where: Encino/Tarzana Regional Medical Center, 18321 Clark St., Tarzana.

Information and registration: [phone], www.encino-tarzana.com. Contact Hilling at [phone] or by e-mail at hilling1(at)cox.net.

Boot Camp for New Dads

Founder: Greg Bishop.

Information: [phone], www.bootcampfornewdads.com.

CAPTION(S):

3 photos, 2 boxes

Photo:

(1 -- cover -- color) To have, then to HOLD

Daddy boot camps get guys ready for fatherhood

Gus Ruelas/Staff Photographer

(2) Future dad Frank Alaniz Jr. holds 6-month-old Jordan as her father, Ken Palmer, explains the fine points of fatherhood at a Northridge Hospital Medical Center workshop for dads-to-be.

Tina Burch/Staff Photographer

(3) While plastic baby dolls lie in the foreground, the expectant dads in Northridge Hospital's Journey Into Fatherhood class will soon be holding the real thing.

Box:

(1) Quick reads (see text)

(2) Where to enlist (see text)