WHO'S THE WORST HEAD COACH?

Byline: SCOTT WOLF  College Football

There have been a couple of remarkable turnarounds at Notre Dame and California this season, with new coaches Tyrone Willingham and Jeff Tedford receiving much-deserved kudos.

But while saluting Willingham and Tedford, their performances lead to an intriguing question: Who was the worst coach in college football the past five seasons, Bob Davie or Tom Holmoe?

It's not an easy question to answer, with Davie dragging Notre Dame to despair and Holmoe keeping Cal even worse than usual.

Both were entrusted with talent but made their faithful believe the programs had entered a ``down'' period.

How bad were they? Well, you could apply a theory that became popular when Paul Hackett was at USC. Would the Trojans have been better off with a mannequin on the sidelines in a baseball cap and large sunglasses? The mannequin certainly would have done less damage on game days.

Let's compare facts to see who was worse:

--Holmoe lost 10 games last season with Kyle Boller at quarterback.

--Davie started Arnaz Battle at quarterback.

--Holmoe got Cal, of all places, put on probation.

--Davie once was shut out by a Hackett-coached defense.

--Holmoe never beat Stanford.

--Davie was replaced by a Stanford coach.

--Holmoe was exposed by a coach with no head-coaching experience (Tedford).

--Davie was exposed by a coach with no personality (Willingham).

It's a close call, but we'll have to say Holmoe probably was the better coach. If he'd been at Notre Dame, he'd do just as poorly as Davie. But if Davie went to Cal, he might have done even worse.

--Is the caller, er, quarterback there? CNN talk-show host Larry King has more ties to the BYU football team than anyone in Utah. He is the brother-in-law of BYU quarterback Bret Engemann and stepfather of BYU quarterback Danny Southwick, currently serving his Mormon mission.

--Early peek: The first BCS poll will be released next week. If everyone keeps winning, here are the top three teams, courtesy of BCS guru Jerry Palm:

No. 1 Virginia Tech, 5.9.

No. 2 Miami, 6.29.

No. 3 Georgia, 7.54.

--Lombardo update: Former Newbury Park High quarterback Chris Lombardo transferred from Oregon and is playing at Fort Scott (Kan.) Community College. Among the schools recruiting him are Colorado.

Beside football, Fort Scott offers a wide range of sports, including ``livestock judging'' and ``meats judging.''

--Popular player: Colorado wide receiver Jeremy Bloom easily is one of the most recognizable Buffaloes. He's a world-class freestyle skier, has appeared without a shirt in Sports Illustrated for Women as one of America's sexiest athletes and done modeling work for Tommy Hilfiger.

He prefers not to talk about campus adulation but concedes, ``It's been nothing short of pretty crazy.''

Second-semester freshman linebacker Andrew Ward, Bloom's roommate, takes it from there. ``It's unbelievable,'' said Ward, a humble player from Louisiana. ``It's not Shreveport (La.), I'll tell you that.''

The foot traffic through their dorm room generally is heavy and frequently female, said Ward, who has been interviewed by Sports Illustrated, People magazine and other national media for his perspective on Bloom.

Visitors to their room include autograph seekers and the randomly curious. Telephone calls come from ``girls and guys who say, `Hey, let's just hang out.'

``I don't know what it's like being stalked, but this might be close,'' Ward said. ``It's really crazy. Jeremy's a down-to-earth guy, very humble. He downplays it all.''

--Nasty numbers: Texas quarterback Chris Simms against Top 10 teams: He's 0-4, with 14 interceptions and no touchdowns. In three of those games, he failed to reach 200 passing yards.

--No love: Visiting teams have dreaded trips to Louisiana State's Tiger Stadium, where the crowds are some of the loudest and wildest in the country. South Carolina coach Lou Holtz can vouch for it.

In his only trip to Death Valley in 1986, his first season at Notre Dame, Holtz's Fighting Irish were beaten 21-19.

``All I can remember is (fans yelling), `Tiger bait! Tiger bait! Tiger bait!' he said. ``For a state that has so many Catholics, they were really anti-Catholic. To hear those people. The French, Louis the 14th, sent the Catholics over there to settle New Orleans, but boy they were hostile.''

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